happy teachers' day.. the last i'll celebrate as a student technically. back in the bp days, we're always complaining how boring this is tt is. now that i'm in aj, bp does has a relatively much more interesting celebration n atmosphere. reminds me of cheering com as well. one thing remains the same though, which is the smile on the teachers face when u wish them a happy teacher's day. smile of satisfaction, warmth n pride.

i went back to bp today, after the celebration in aj ended at like 9.15 ?? tts early..familiar environment with a different feeling. kinda feel out of place. "change is the only constant". the teachers must be feeling gd seeing the products of their teachings come back, surviving well in the adverse conditions of higher education. its good to see them surviving well in the equally harsh confinement of education.

i look at the sec 1s n 2s .. i looked like tt last time ?!?! innocent + ignorance + petite features + "yay tml no sch !" look on their face. nth else seems to concern them. i dunno why , but i unconsiously pity them for they will be like me in a few years time. the margin for error , they will realise, is decreasing at an increasing rate. stakes are getting higher n higher. u dun screw up the only 1 life u have. u can only hope u have a screw driver in hand if u ever do, to unscrew.

somehow , its a dry dry day for me in contrast to the weather. watched monster house in the evening with bgang. lol... wasnt a v nice show, neither was it too bad. but i dun mind la, cos i really think the company once in a while (regardless of the quality of the movie) is fun to have.

each time we rubbed shoulders, we looked away.
each time we were this near, it felt like infinity.
damn... this isnt wat i wanted.
and each time , i try to tell myself. . .

everything is picking up pace, studying of cos. coping well for some , not coping well for the others. hopefully when the time comes , i'll get my perspectives right. i was watching my alarm clock the other day, hearing the tick tick sound. haha, and then i told myself, every tick u hear, u're one second closer to a levels. well, tt got me a little panicky over it. i still need to up my pace alittle. looking at how the others go, i'm like riding a bike vs their F1 race car. watch me fly...

i need divine intervention for my physics . . .

hey A,
i saw u danced the aces day thing the other day. this is like only the third time. ha i still remember the first time was during the lunch time concert and i ran out from my mass civics. but no more pe for me le i guess? you dont seem to be in a v good mood recently again. hope everything clears up for u. take care n study hard.

i came back today and took a long nap. woke up and sat there dazing. amidst all the studying, i felt a sudden sense of emptiness again. i think i need something which i can look forward to. busy searching for what possibly could do that and i found nth. i know how impt this exam is... but mayb that little bit of something i was looking for could make everything seems alittle more enjoyable.

i fear for the future if life is going to be anythign like it is now. i wake up each morning to drag my feet to school. i try hard to keep myself going during classes. when classes end, i took the long quiet journey back home. slp eat work slp.. and the cycle continues again. no sparks~

i watched click. it was a nice movie. how i wish i can have tt remote now. i would have probably set it to auto rewind! the past holds more to me than the future sometimes. n i definitely need more time to really complete my revision. i would love to try the chapter mode as well, revisiting the past and everything. then i'll know if anyone tried to poison my burger. morty morty, where are u ?! mayb if it happened to me as well, i 'll learn to cherish more the things i have. sadly, which i think i dont really do now.

100 days is all i have left. those precious few glances. i know i'm gonna miss tt few secs every morning.

army life is like creeping near. abit excited abit not too... i went to the ndu for test the other day. its the navy diving unit for those who din know. i guess we dun really have much a choice bout things like this. i would have loved to join the air force and fly a plane or something. ha.. fat hope. hmmm, the ndu looks tough n i've heard from officers there bout life. actually come to think of it, going to tekong n having bmt there would be more fun yeah ? but like i've said, i dun really have a choice. look on the bright side, its only two years right ? =S

oh, i wondered if i've mentioned here before. i went to act in a movie as an extra in yr 2004. i was waiting for the movie to be out but it didnt. till like today, i saw the vcd n rented it ! though its only like less than 10s of screen time, ha, its still quite exciting to see urself! lol... the show is house of harmony starring fann wong n maggie Q. check it out !

time's running out . . . tick tick tick.

the dream that was nv meant to be and the only regret that will always be with me.