i just handed over my captaincy today. wat a few months it has been. on certain days, i was cursing this role i had. i had to take care of lotsa things n when things go wrong, its my fault. but today, i just feel that everything was worth the effort. felt a great sense of pride. sitting there on the stage with all the other leaders is quite an experience. i could almost feel that everyone of us is unwilling, almost rdy to take on another yr in the office n fight in the A'div again. 2 yrs is juz too short for too many good things to happen.

i bought nizar an armband n put in on for him on stage. its almost as if i'm like beckenbaur giving a pat on the back to ballack. makes me feel rather senior. ha but anyway... my this 2 yr stint as captain of ajc has been the most unforgettable of all. playing in front of ur sch, ur friends, people special to u and having them cheer u on is a special feeling. i can understand why my coach always say " i've forgotten much of my national team games... but up till now, i can remember the day i don the cjc jersey and every single game i played to win the championship." i've juz run out of vocab to describe wat i feel. ha. in short i dont think i'll get that chance to exp tt again. mayb i'll join again in uni , but then again , the feeling i think would be v diff.

i've made friends who shed blood, tears, sweat all for the sake of the sch. i've learnt life skills i'll nv learn else where. n i've left my little mark on the on-going legacy of ajc captains. (teh x 9) AJ !

i sat on the stage, pretending to be looking ard but i was searching for u. " are u looking for me as well ? " i dare not stare , stealing glances once every few seconds. i would have like adib to represent soccer but i juz hope u could feel proud of me for one last time. when my named was called, i hoped u'll be clapping with with a smile. in the end i did not know if any of those happened. i only remembered wat happened earlier in the day. . . . . . .

hey,

like i've said, the weekdays are really flying past faster than speed of light. has the no. of hours per day shorten ?? i'm getting off at a really slow pace and i dun have a good feeling bout the outcome. gosh, wat worse is i'm feeling the urgency n yet not enough fuel to power forward like an old engine. vroom... *cough cough* ... vroom. i'm worried bout my gp.

i got this feeling i'm competing in the tour de france. at the begining i've got all the people ard me, taking turns to brave the drag force at the front of the pack. slowly slowly, some of them fell off their bike and subsequently, out of the race. during the last stretch, i'm all alone to speed down the hills, to claim the yellow jersey. but then, i've no body to share my joy at the finish. i'm all alone. there's nv a 2 person race anyway. there's always only a winner.

i went to play for yishin's blue devil ystday. the truth is , i kinda sucked. yishin asked why i looked more devastated than him after the game. i told him i'm tired. actually i am la , but i felt i could have put in tt little bit more effort really. if its my competition game, i would have threw myself at the ball, but i just didnt felt quite the need for it. until at the end, watching him struggle to conceal his disappointment with a smile. i should have upped my game alittle just even for tt 10 mins. mayb it wont make a difference to the score but at least i know i've play my best for a friend. mayb the combination of chelsea and man utd as team name was a bad omen to start with. ha... well, if u want to enjoy this sat, u have better get ur passion burning again. its now like a flame in swaying winds...

hope you're doing fine ... n i hope i've finally got it.

hey~ be prepared for a long entry today! many interesting things happened throughout this week.

"98, 99 , 100! here i come ! " ystday's morning assembly started with this sentence. my sch debator went up to present to the sch her winning speech - hide n seek. she said that, contrary to popular tots , adults still play hide and seek. but the version we play is more complex. we do not hide our physical self but our inner self. we hide our emotions, our motives and every other thing else n i find it rather true. i'm guilty of it everyday. but analysing wat i've learnt from science as well, the ideal case is always too far fetched from the reality. i think if a person does not hide his emotions, intention , motives etc, he will be a very unpopular person. it is a form of accomodation that we hide our inner self which we believe is better off hiden inside a corner of our heart. as much as i do not wish to hide, the reality always jerks me up from castle-building in the air. the reality has no place for that kind of innocence i believe. anyway that was a good speech she gave, made me think and ponder.

today i also went to donate blood for the first time. ok, i think i was one of the v v few who still had to go with a consent form! was kinda excited that it is my first time. not much pain , juz abit sore over the wound. the needle is huge though, bigger than ur mechanical pencil's opening. some of their bodies reacted rather violently to the drop in volume of blood. joseph was one them, he was acting strong with a pale face and in the end had to be carried back in by the nurse.ha... it was a great exp , and knowing that i could help someone with tt blood donation, it felt great. so BE A BLOOD DONOR TODAY!

I also attended a talk by a chemical engineer. My dream occupation! chemical engineer! ha.. it is of no doubt my interest lies in chem rather than physics. it also seemed to me that being a chemical engineers is rather an interesting. u get to come up with new molecular formular for soaps, new octave oil, invent your own medicine etc. cool right ? it isnt like wat my mum tot it was, sitting in a lab juz doing experiments. its more than tt~ if u are lucky to work in jurong island, u get to deal with millions n millions of dollars worth of contract. now, talk about an interesting job. another gd side of it is , its the highest paid industry in sg! the avg salary of workers in the chem industry is $5500! the speaker also said he knew of counterparts who has salaries 6 times this amount! omg. tts a holy sum! not including bonus, overtime, raise, insurance. that would adds up to bout more than half a million a year! but of cos not everyone gets to have tt kind of holy pay. for now, i shall work hard to get into chemical engineering which has a cut off point of 66 -.-' in layman's term, it means 3 A and a minimum of B3 for gp. for my mid yr result, i only managed 25.5. not even half way there. lol. but still, i'll strive for it. SO DUN ASPIRE TO BE A CHEM ENGINEER N COMPETE WITH ME!

nowadays, i'll all too busy with my mugging. time seems to be running faster n faster. the weekdays i used to dread, is flashing past me. i'm kinda like lost in a transition. i slowly realised how much more time i've left in this sch. i walked to the bus stop with my soccer ppl juz now. and its like deja vu, a vicious cycle. mayb not vicious la. i've seen it happened to my seniors be4 and now its my turn. dun think i'll have much time to spent with ppl in the sch. n i know before i will realise it, its gonna be goodbye again. how i hate all the partings n goodbyes. i looked at the field with my coach in his familar waga shirt. mixed feelings of pride, joy, sadness, confusion ... he's one man i'll nv forget. to sum it up, i'm starting to cherish all the ppl in sch but i dun have much time to do so. n there's always this thing tt will make me feel seems so incomplete, n i guess it will carry on to do so.

at times i do wish you know i have a blog. its harder to tell you things now. alright. melancholic mood over. mugging programme set.' if maths be the food of love... prove on!'

italy won the world cup. good, so the one star on my france jersey can remain. everyone will be disputing about zidane's headbutt ( wat a head he has!). i agree its bad for the millions of kids watching but soccer is an emtional game. somehow i dun see the big significance of all these debates bout it. he has got a red card, france has lost and we should just leave everything to history. its juz another 'sighting' from this game. this man has the utmost respect from me. not only tt he's the nicest looking baldy ard. he's just a quiet man tt let his feet do the talking. mayb his head at times. i think we should juz remember him for all the magic he has done on the pitch. treasure this living legend for as long as you can.

i met my friend on the train ystday. we used to be quite close but for wat reason i dunno , we drifted. even though we're from the same sch we hardly see each other. as we were on the train, 3 sentence was all we spoke n then the long awkward silence. i tried to behave like how we used to. but it seems like time has washed away more than wat i tot it had. as the train doors closed, we waved goodbye. i just dont like the feeling of tt ? they will be the people i'll remember when i leave my sch. but memories can sometimes be such a faint thing. one day i might just forget tt i ever had this good friend.

anyway, the teachers are making me panick! push button push button. emergency liaoz, hopefully i can stay on course and stick to wat i had mentally planned. muggerman ?

inter house today! i was pretty excited cos this is the first time i'm organising something this scale. i dont wish for anything to go wrong. but like they always say, no matter how much planning u do, there's always room for the unexpected. we managed to overcome them in the end anyway. they are mostly about us trying to keep to the schedule which, is near impossible.

i tell you, 3 pitches playing soccer simultaneously is a sight to behold so most likely those ppl watching wouldnt see the glitches. especially when the girls looked like they enjoyed it too. when my friend said thx for organising this, ahhh~ there's a tiny sense of achievement from within. i was happy how everything turned out. managed to get a gold again after missing on it for the last 3 yrs. king of the school again =)

it feels great to be playing on the field again. i do missed all the training sessions. everything was great today... it would be better if you were there. i missed playing for something. images flood back. reality pushes it away.

i scored my first competitive penalty after missing the last 4 ! LOL. wat a time to break the jinx. a sign tt i'll scale my A level ! ok think too much. wan go slp alr . bb.

right now i'm in the midst of my short post-tests break. enjoying it to a certain extent. i'm just glad, i can catch up on some slp tt has eluded me due to the world cup, tests and other external factors.

england is out n brazil is out. great, this world cup has no more teams left for me to root for. n wat was the ref thinking when he gave rooney tt red card ?!?! (my friend called rooney shrek) damn la, everytime lose on penalties. they didnt even put up a stiff test for the "Egg-tarties" ! 2 people i would put my life on to score, lampard n gerrard, they missed! eng deserved to be out, they weren't their best this tournament. the bookies must be smiling their way to slp last night.

brazil? champions ? pre-mature talks i would say. disapointed. i bought my france away jersey n i wore it watching tt game. but i was supporting brazil. n they lost in such a way tt made france looking really gd. brazil vs germany would have been a worthy finals of my standard. now, no matter which teams emerged into the finals , it will nv be one i'll be looking forward to.

i'm low on confidence and self-esteem right now. just dont possessed the kind of arrogance i had in the past. aura of invincibility has diminished... n it sure is affecting me. must find that confidence back. back to being someone i'd enjoy being.