hey! tml is my last paper, physics. crap, they always put physics on the last day. they must have known tt physics is my weakest and tt i most probably would have no mood to study the night be4! i know nuts bout physics la. i can only blame myself for the late night gaming during the hols.

gp was ok, but it always turn out the opp. maths was ok as well. satisfied but not the best. chem was bad, downright sucky. those topics i focused on only make up like 10 %. i practically left 2 qns blank for free response! haha. but nvm , this exam is not impt.

the morning rays are beaming
and the heart is heavy,
i know wat i was looking for,
something i've been missing.
for that few seconds it all came back,
the smile and the purple rubber band.
strange as it seems,
nothing was quite same.
all i'm trying to show was a facade,
for deep inside i wanted to know.
i didnt wanted to turn right then,
cos i didnt wanted her to learn,
that the beautiful days before,
is nv forgotten.

i was told that one of my senior soccer friend's father passed away. he was the sole breadwinner of the family of 5. my friend is in the army now, and he constantly has to worry bout his family. but i'm relieved cos he seemed quite strong in his blog. i hope its not a facade that he's trying to put up. i know he'll be strong. i was nv very close to him like i was with the other seniors.but somehow i can feel how painful it must have been for him to lose someone dear to him. mayb its cos i'm not going thru a pleasant period of my life, but i'm ashamed. give him strength and may God bless him and his family.

happy ppl past my way . . . :)

i cant wait for school to reopen so i can finish all the tests and get it over and done with. i know i will regret saying this when sch reopens again but , holiday is Boring. this is just not the kind of holiday for me. i cant create the mood to study.now i can do with some indulgence among friends to keep me up, cant afford to be down.

chatted with a few girl friends bout world cup. ha, some of them seems to be more crazy than me over soccer. well, somehow it just feels good knowing someone of the opp gender shares such interest cos its not very common. the things they know are not superficial like , england = david beckham , korea = ahn jung hwan or brazil = fat ronaldo. they do know a thing or 2 which makes it even less common. but of cos there are some who simply cant be bothered with the world cup. lol. the other day i also saw this girl wearing france away jersey!! she was wearing spects too! i tell you, thats a pretty sight. i think girls look nicer in jerseys than guys do. haha

enough of self pity, i'll fight hard against my desires no matter how contradictory i think it is. i will. haven been studying hard. going to study le. -

i saw a short post on a blog n i found it really nice. but now i cant find it ?!? mayb its deleted or something?? sad. i know roughly wat it says but i cant remember the exact words. tot the words would really bring out how i feel. mayb its a sign tts all should be washed away.

tonight is one of the , i should say, philosophical night that i always have. juz kept thinking of things about life. i read celest's blog,and hahaa, i juz felt i want to do something to change my life. not so much bout the christianity part but juz wanted to do something to spark a positive change. mayb the "hallelooyah" song in the background did its magic, i was thrown into a sea of tots. tots so deep that either i stay afloat towards paradise , or sink beneath the abyss of the dark.

i think once in a while everyone should have such a night. some time alone to think n reflect. is this life the way u want it to be ?? i'm not too sure bout things...

human body is so amazing... i did not catch a wink last night n yet i'm still going on strong now.i went to surf the net after the brazil game and then went to cmpb for my checkup. first time i'm doing such a checkup so i was rather excited. however, my excitement was greeted by the grumpy lady at the counter and several other black-faced officers. its not monday wat... ? i saw bp's halim (spell check pls) and one aj bballer. hahah, din talk to both of them, cos dun really know them well. we went through all the stations in breeze. the more nervous part was the blood test. i was abit paranoid and wat have you, but in the end its not painful at all -.- " i was also looking forward to the x-ray taking. imagine all the gamma rays shooting through ur body~ sounds cool right!?! YA RIGHT! no feeling at all again -.-" a few funny incidents here and there with the urine test and the doctor consultation. lazy to blog down.

after the medical checkup, i was still early for my physiotherapy so i went to queensway to take a walk. wah see alot of things. i know my season is over, but i wan to buy boots! especially the adidas tunit (spain) flaming red boots. i fell in love with france's white away jersey la. germany's black away or spain's white away jersey also not bad. but they are EX! doubt it would be worth it. i also wan buy the golden teamgeist world cup final ball. then i reminded myself we live in a world of scarcity. $$ is limited. put aside the wants from the needs. that enlightened me so much so that i went to get a bowl of katong laksa to fill my needs. haha.

physiotherapy was ok, massage here and there. so its my lower left back muscle thats causing all my leg aches. hmmmm.... to think i tot i might have to amputate it away. LOL. i'm feeling alittle groggy alr. there's a limit to the human body afterall. Bye!

random thought: adidas seems so much superior this time round compared to nike whether is it the jerseys, boots, balls and advertisement. hail the 3 stripes!

world cup is here! dun be fooled by the exclaimation mark. i'm not feeling the so called 'fever'. i think my A'div gives me more 'soccery' feeling than this world cup la. if i could choose between singapore going to the world cup and aj winning A'div, i would choose the latter. no doubt. mayb the only joy i can derived from this world cup is the rare spectacular football on display and its companionship through the silent night. but who knows, mayb as the tournament progresses i'll get heated up and hungry for the action! england kinda sucks today right...and i still have a soft spot for david beckham. ha.

rare surprise it was last night. kinda rippled the water surface which has calm of recent. it was a pleasant one though. i know i should juz see it as a mirage, something illusionary but it has been bothering me. i dun wan to walk towards a huge barren land thinking its an oasis again.

oh, pls remind me i've got to go to cmpb for the checkup this wed. fast isnt it. ha.. anyway there's a singaporean refereeing the sweden vs trinidad game. must go support! nitez!

hey!
brought my 2 cousins out for movie today becos they were complaining holidays are too boring. they stayed at home almost everyday other than stepping out for dinner n lunch. tts quite sad for 2 pri kids with no hw for the holidays! ok, they said they were quite happy maple'ing away. dun understand whats with the maple craze.

we watched x-men III. yeah, x-men the show i nv made it to watch before today. ok wateva, its only like 3.5 stars to me. tot its gonna be like some mind blowing 5 stars show. sadly, nope. then the 3 of us had dinner at siam kitchen and headed home.

i noticed something about my cousins tts v different from me when i was their age. i'm pretty certain i'm like 10x more independent than they are now. i think it has something to do with where they grew up in, a green-house like environment. my aunt nv has to work while my mum has to. i was made to do alot of things myself while most things are provided for them physically n mentally i guess. thats why they lacked alot of life skills. they do not know wat buses go to their house, they do not have proper direction sense, their inter-personal relation skills are abit poor at times and even things like picking garlic out of their food has to be done by others. is there something not right here or is it i'm juz weird ?? hmmm, mayb kids are all like this nowadays. we do not have the power to change anything.

days has past, and the sea are tt little bit calmer (if there's such a word). pfftt... the air is so much easier to breathe in now. u get wat i mean? this is juz like drinking coffee, first its bitter then the weird aftertaste. its not exactly a bad taste if u like it. but i dunno whether i like it or not. haha.. it doesn't seems as though i got A2 for lit right.

its been a long entry. gd nitez! sweet dreams!
may the pink light blink. . .

I started my mugging engine again today.I went to mac to study with some friends. sadly, i only managed to do a few questions on stats. my concentration span is too short for my own liking.time is really running out and i've got like mountains to cover. gRr, perseverance is the word here ! come on guoxing !

i think i need to change. mayb all the while the prob is just me cos its not the first. got so many questions but no answers.

when all you got to keep is strong

Move along, move along like I know you do

And even when your hope is gone

Move along, move along just to make it through

Move along

"err why u ask so many questions ?! " - shattered.

past few days have been fine. i tot i really could. i really tot so. but nah, mayb i wasnt as brave as i tot i would be. crap. all crap. seems like a forgone conclusion i'm not willing to bow down to.

left dead cold

mayb my love will come back someday . . .