http://gxing.livejournal.com/. moved

3 months break from blogging again. suddenly got the urge to write again. i doubt i'll be updating regularly though. its the pauses in my life again that pulls me back here again.

i'm in the army now. bald and tan. Life's so different. my weekends are worth a million dollars but they are flying past at the speed of light. i'm still coping fine, and hope i'll still do so in the next phase , CDC (combat diving course). After months of not using my brain, i swear to you i'm alittle brain-dead now. All i can think of is , i'm booking in later and that makes me blue. -stone-

Life isnt great for me at the moment. Another period of hard time i'm trying to struggle through. It always happen, and i wonder when will it stop. I thought it would end this time. I had plans, I had dreams. I was given hope and i was happy. Now my world seems so small and i'm not happy. i'm trying to change my lifestyle. In fact, i'm trying to change myself. Not the finished article yet, its gonna take some time. The transition is abit hard. Hold my hands and take me away once more, like how you did before. Could you promise me you wont let go this time ?

So much has changed since the last time i blog. i'm not much different. but alot of perspectives have changed.

so long ...

more photos!

proudest moment of my life...

the 4 immortals!

man of my (soccer)life

Aj captainS !

i cannot find words to caption this pic. lol

nobody believes she's my gf. would you ?

my man.

my camera flash made everyone looked tanned. its called the tan flash!

kind souls..

the one on my right is my gf, the other one is my mum.

wats with sleeping in black tee shirts???

ok, major shifts in my life this few weeks.
chronologically,

1.- i went for 203 chalet! boy, its good to see them. All looking good i'm glad to say. i still think we have the most amazing ppl among us, the naive ones, the funny ones, the cute ones, the gian beng ones (one for this actually, right anna?). the only thing common among them is a kind heart. i feel like the most evil person there everytime. considering how kind i am, that should be quite a statement. i dont say this, but i do love and cherish every min we spent tgt. monstarZ! i cam-gigolo'ed all thru the night. ha.

2.- SOCCER! i went back to school for my training be4 the chalet ( ok, not so chronologically after all). it was drizzling. the backdrop has been set. there was a surge of feelings just by looking at the field. i was shock at my own emotions too. my eyes were wet. i guess i left the school with too much regrets. seeing her at the gates didnt help at all. Everything went back to normal after i kicked around and had a talk with my coach. haha, i remembered all my silly pep talk before matches. i think it didnt motivate them at all la. i must have looked foolish. sigh, i want play for school again.

3- RESULTS ! never would i have though i'll ever see my name on the screen. but i DID ! Its hard to describe the feeling but looking at the triple A's on my result slip just feels soooooooooooooooooooooooo great. i did it, straight As! i jumped 10 grades and chem engineering, here i REALLY come. my gp would be the booby trap though, whether i make it in really hang on the balance over my gp grades.Most of bgang also did well, fortunately,except one or two who did not reach their expectations. anyway, i'm applying for a scholarship too, really banking on this. pls God ! i love exxonmobile and sembcorp! lol, so realistic.

4- i'm quiting my job. not quiting actually, i alr quited. Pull and Bear! i'll miss the people there. Been fun working at that place. thank peepz! =) Friday would be my last day there. so ya, those that didnt come down and want to come visit me , this is is your last chance!!!!!!! i'm broke by the way.

people who came to visit me : soon keng, yao wei, pengo, lee lao shi, ah long , adib, melissa, yilin , meizhen, qiu , jo , joel, weini, yuhao , fiona, my cousins and aunties.

people who came but not becos they are visiting : lionel and huiying , shu hui, wendy, shi jia, han ting, zhi tong, su xian, din and hizam and zakee and adib and shahril and zufar and gang. and yes my GF!!

PEOPLE WHO DIDN'T BOTHER TO COME: yes, u know who you are.


i having a mid-life identity crisis now. no kidding. and my colleagues say i'm balding. getting very emo every day.. must be cos of the receding hair line. trying to find a meaning for everything. i bet no one get wat i'm saying. in short, i'm having a crisis right now.

save me. .

Going back for training tml! yay, how exciting. Feels good to be going back again. I dont foresee a happy home-coming the next time i go back cos thats when the results are out! -pulls hair- the thought of the impending doom is Sooooooooooooo torturous. oh after that i'll be going for 203 chalet! seems like a fun filled day and hopefully so. capping off a good week full of fun and laughters.

dealing with post cny gloom.

dealing with my over-flowing desires...

Photos!


my shop


Mannequin for the day (no wonder sales was good!)


family resemblence...


how i miss the smell of grass and mud ...


stained windows and peeling walls...


even i feel cute sandwiched in between them :)


alison gives a thumbs up for the winning tiles. lolx


V for virgin. the end.


Man of the match champagne goes to alan mok!


'da' spastic boy.

HAppy chInESe New YR !!!

there's just something bout this festival that is so worth looking forward to, still is. had an average visiting on the first day. it was made better when the b gang ppl came over at night to chill out. i swear i was at the highest i've been all my life. over-joyous feeling, light-headed and red-faced. i was practically floating ard my house all night. finally, those volatile liquid got the better of me and i was knocked out. woke up again to participate in our talk sessions. there's so much more we could talk bout.. if only more ppl were here. but nonetheless, fun.

WE were on the papers! Weekend Warriors.. RAWR!!

i love my life now.. making every second counts.. live it!

SSSSSSSWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

100th entry! I make it a point to read back every now and then. ahhh , all the memories to savour.

I met up with bugger( jaycob?!!?) , kang , hew and Sean (Hew's friend) after work yesterday. We went Wala for awhile before heading over to zouk without hew and friend. We thought Wala was a club but nope, Wala is a pub. It is still a nice place though, good songs and good company.

After zouk, me and bug tried to save on the cab fare so we hitchhiked kang's cab back to woodlands. We then walked our way from kang's place to admiralty and then back to woodlands interchange. Btw, we were supposed to walked straight to woodlands but bugger who was sure that his way was right took us to admiralty. It was a long walk and we had a nice long talk. contents to remain confidential. Talking about this, I kinda missed going to hong yun's place for soccer matches and all the confession sessions. Hopefully we'll be able to do that soon.

I feel like I'm searching for something. But I do not know what exactly am i searching for. We are all searching for the same things, its just that some have found it some dont. Sounding hopeful...

I'm home on my off day again. Dang, i gotta find things to do.

Everyone's not really blogging these days. Blog pls...

Alittle bit of love for me..

It took me some time to find a suitable heading to start this entry but in the end, I gave up. I'm determine to write something long today.

I've worked for 2 weeks already. I can say I'm a workaholic. I prefer going to work actually, than to stay home on my off days. Working has become fun to me. Its quite like going to school, when you're in it , you cant wait to leave. when you're out of it, you'll miss the fun of it. Now i'm just hoping the next 2 weeks will past slightly faster and i can get my pay. Seriously, its hard to earn money. You minus away my cpf , transportation and all my expenses, I'm hardly left with anything much. Thats why I'm on a thrifty diet. Absolutely no spending unnecessarily.

Working in this job has taught and made me realised alot of things. I'm only working short term, so whatever the job prospect is, doesnt really bothers me. However, some of my colleagues are there permanently. Its not that the job isn't good or anything, its just tough money to earn. I'm going to have to make sure I make my mark if (ever) I go to university.

Its also good that mine is a monthly pay instead of hourly pay. Sometimes we are made to do extra OT together, suffer this and that, but that kinda made everyone closer together. I just feel it wouldn't be the same with hourly pay where every minute is so precious. anyway, just to side track, my shop is having 50% discount! Its freaking cheap, come down shop ok. While stocks last! What are u waiting for ?!?! ( sales isn't doing well now, haha. must advertise abit).

We just had dinner with B gang people on tues. Its kind of like a send off for those going NS. Fast isn't it? Hope they'll get use to it and very soon it'll be my turn. I'll remember to bring prickly heat powder and Fabreeze or something. ha. i used to think army will be the benchmark for being an adult. i just feel i'm not that ready to be a grown-up yet. But i'll be forced into it when the time comes.

i'm starting to miss alot of things. Things that used to be part of my life and went missing. i'm searching for them. realised i've lost quite alot of things in life i've never managed to salvage. or rather, i never tried to salvage. i could have saved alot of things if i did try. sadly i didnt. now when i try to, many are no longer there for salvaging. i read this somewhere "letting go doesnt mean giving up, but accepting that there are somethings that just cannot be.." i've accepted too many too much...

zonked...