I have led a life of mediocrity. Its a life filled with sparks, but sparks not enough to glow. Up till now, I was contented. But for everyone, there comes a time when fairy tales no longer existed and every choice you made could eventually affect how the next few decades of your life is going to be. For me, i've seen how my mediocrity has set me panicking.

I was once a person who prefers to be somewhere near the ordinary, be an average joe. i remember my teacher once told me," you are the only few in class who is both street and academic smart. you'll go far". Again i stayed mediocre throughout sec sch and jc.

How i wished i had the desire to push myself all the way right from the start. what would i have become then? i have seen how much opportunity i've lost. even though i'm taking only 3 subs now, i would have like to take F maths, maths S and chem S. It may seems like i'm looking beyond what i can do. But somehow, i feel I can if i really wanted to.as for scholarships, i nv once thought in my life that i'll be eligible and so the tot of getting it naturally did not exist. the feeling now is different. I went to look at the private scholarships for offer, and there are definitely a few i'm interested. but all of their requirements stated " at least one S paper " i was like, d*mn!

the class i'm in now is a very fun class however, we're not up there in terms of studies. our teachers are all worrying for us, and the look on their faces tells me its serious anxiety. they all hoped we could at least get a C for their subject, considering all the O's and the E's we're getting now. i feel its too low a target to set for myself. i'm still aiming for A A A. all together i need to jump a total of 10 grades for all 3 subs !!! haha, i dont feel its impossible. to a certain extent,a simple life is soothing but i do need to step out of this mediocrity. the important thing is, i know i can do it with a little bit of luck. i hope all my friends are feeling the same way too. rise up to the occasion. chem engineering here i come!

i'm not praying for a miracle, i'm working one right now.

'do not disturb' ...