thoughts rushed thru my mind on the second day i hit home before the the sun is even down. wat am i running away from ? wat am i avoiding ? wat do i wan ? i dunno . . . i'm lost AGAIN.

watched "remember the titans" juz now. truely inspiring. it made me feel the feeling all over again. that glimmer of hope, that brought all the desire in me to want to succeed. it was gone weeks after season ended, its back now. rightfully so, training's starting soon. i want to win , badly. i looked back all my life n asked myself wat have i succeeded , wat great things have i done ? one word . . . nth. i dun wan my 8-9 years of school career to end up empty handed, proving my worth only at the small courts i frequent. i wan to play like i know i can on the big stage, to deliver. i understand how the j2s felt this year, they had the burning desire to win. i juz didn't have the hunger to match my ambition, i doubted my own ability. i was scared when serangoon scored the first goal, i was shaking after i missed the freak shot. but i feel this is the time , probably the last season representing any sch. i wan to breathe the air , right there , down on the grass, standing on the pitch , playing in the national stadium. its a dream... tt probably would nv come true.

"i am not perfect , i nv will be, but when we start playing for our goals, our beliefs, as one team, we are perfect. lets make sure everyone remembers the day they played us, forever."