[Never to be continued -

2008-01-27T21:31:00.001+08:00

http://gxing.livejournal.com/. moved

2007-06-17T09:40:00.000+08:00

3 months break from blogging again. suddenly got the urge to write again. i doubt i'll be updating regularly though. its the pauses in my life again that pulls me back here again.

i'm in the army now. bald and tan. Life's so different. my weekends are worth a million dollars but they are flying past at the speed of light. i'm still coping fine, and hope i'll still do so in the next phase , CDC (combat diving course). After months of not using my brain, i swear to you i'm alittle brain-dead now. All i can think of is , i'm booking in later and that makes me blue. -stone-

Life isnt great for me at the moment. Another period of hard time i'm trying to struggle through. It always happen, and i wonder when will it stop. I thought it would end this time. I had plans, I had dreams. I was given hope and i was happy. Now my world seems so small and i'm not happy. i'm trying to change my lifestyle. In fact, i'm trying to change myself. Not the finished article yet, its gonna take some time. The transition is abit hard. Hold my hands and take me away once more, like how you did before. Could you promise me you wont let go this time ?

So much has changed since the last time i blog. i'm not much different. but alot of perspectives have changed.

so long ...

2007-03-06T09:43:00.000+08:00

more photos!

proudest moment of my life...

the 4 immortals!

man of my (soccer)life

Aj captainS !

i cannot find words to caption this pic. lol

nobody believes she's my gf. would you ?

my man.

my camera flash made everyone looked tanned. its called the tan flash!

kind souls..

the one on my right is my gf, the other one is my mum.

wats with sleeping in black tee shirts???

2007-03-06T08:48:00.000+08:00

ok, major shifts in my life this few weeks.
chronologically,

1.- i went for 203 chalet! boy, its good to see them. All looking good i'm glad to say. i still think we have the most amazing ppl among us, the naive ones, the funny ones, the cute ones, the gian beng ones (one for this actually, right anna?). the only thing common among them is a kind heart. i feel like the most evil person there everytime. considering how kind i am, that should be quite a statement. i dont say this, but i do love and cherish every min we spent tgt. monstarZ! i cam-gigolo'ed all thru the night. ha.

2.- SOCCER! i went back to school for my training be4 the chalet ( ok, not so chronologically after all). it was drizzling. the backdrop has been set. there was a surge of feelings just by looking at the field. i was shock at my own emotions too. my eyes were wet. i guess i left the school with too much regrets. seeing her at the gates didnt help at all. Everything went back to normal after i kicked around and had a talk with my coach. haha, i remembered all my silly pep talk before matches. i think it didnt motivate them at all la. i must have looked foolish. sigh, i want play for school again.

3- RESULTS ! never would i have though i'll ever see my name on the screen. but i DID ! Its hard to describe the feeling but looking at the triple A's on my result slip just feels soooooooooooooooooooooooo great. i did it, straight As! i jumped 10 grades and chem engineering, here i REALLY come. my gp would be the booby trap though, whether i make it in really hang on the balance over my gp grades.Most of bgang also did well, fortunately,except one or two who did not reach their expectations. anyway, i'm applying for a scholarship too, really banking on this. pls God ! i love exxonmobile and sembcorp! lol, so realistic.

4- i'm quiting my job. not quiting actually, i alr quited. Pull and Bear! i'll miss the people there. Been fun working at that place. thank peepz! =) Friday would be my last day there. so ya, those that didnt come down and want to come visit me , this is is your last chance!!!!!!! i'm broke by the way.

people who came to visit me : soon keng, yao wei, pengo, lee lao shi, ah long , adib, melissa, yilin , meizhen, qiu , jo , joel, weini, yuhao , fiona, my cousins and aunties.

people who came but not becos they are visiting : lionel and huiying , shu hui, wendy, shi jia, han ting, zhi tong, su xian, din and hizam and zakee and adib and shahril and zufar and gang. and yes my GF!!

PEOPLE WHO DIDN'T BOTHER TO COME: yes, u know who you are.

i having a mid-life identity crisis now. no kidding. and my colleagues say i'm balding. getting very emo every day.. must be cos of the receding hair line. trying to find a meaning for everything. i bet no one get wat i'm saying. in short, i'm having a crisis right now.

save me. .

2007-02-22T20:31:00.000+08:00

Going back for training tml! yay, how exciting. Feels good to be going back again. I dont foresee a happy home-coming the next time i go back cos thats when the results are out! -pulls hair- the thought of the impending doom is Sooooooooooooo torturous. oh after that i'll be going for 203 chalet! seems like a fun filled day and hopefully so. capping off a good week full of fun and laughters.

dealing with post cny gloom.

dealing with my over-flowing desires...

2007-02-22T19:47:00.000+08:00

Photos!

my shop

Mannequin for the day (no wonder sales was good!)

family resemblence...

how i miss the smell of grass and mud ...

stained windows and peeling walls...

even i feel cute sandwiched in between them :)

alison gives a thumbs up for the winning tiles. lolx

V for virgin. the end.

Man of the match champagne goes to alan mok!

'da' spastic boy.

2007-02-19T14:04:00.000+08:00

HAppy chInESe New YR !!!

there's just something bout this festival that is so worth looking forward to, still is. had an average visiting on the first day. it was made better when the b gang ppl came over at night to chill out. i swear i was at the highest i've been all my life. over-joyous feeling, light-headed and red-faced. i was practically floating ard my house all night. finally, those volatile liquid got the better of me and i was knocked out. woke up again to participate in our talk sessions. there's so much more we could talk bout.. if only more ppl were here. but nonetheless, fun.

WE were on the papers! Weekend Warriors.. RAWR!!

i love my life now.. making every second counts.. live it!

SSSSSSSWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

2007-01-18T17:50:00.000+08:00

100th entry! I make it a point to read back every now and then. ahhh , all the memories to savour.

I met up with bugger( jaycob?!!?) , kang , hew and Sean (Hew's friend) after work yesterday. We went Wala for awhile before heading over to zouk without hew and friend. We thought Wala was a club but nope, Wala is a pub. It is still a nice place though, good songs and good company.

After zouk, me and bug tried to save on the cab fare so we hitchhiked kang's cab back to woodlands. We then walked our way from kang's place to admiralty and then back to woodlands interchange. Btw, we were supposed to walked straight to woodlands but bugger who was sure that his way was right took us to admiralty. It was a long walk and we had a nice long talk. contents to remain confidential. Talking about this, I kinda missed going to hong yun's place for soccer matches and all the confession sessions. Hopefully we'll be able to do that soon.

I feel like I'm searching for something. But I do not know what exactly am i searching for. We are all searching for the same things, its just that some have found it some dont. Sounding hopeful...

I'm home on my off day again. Dang, i gotta find things to do.

Everyone's not really blogging these days. Blog pls...

Alittle bit of love for me..

2007-01-13T15:34:00.000+08:00

It took me some time to find a suitable heading to start this entry but in the end, I gave up. I'm determine to write something long today.

I've worked for 2 weeks already. I can say I'm a workaholic. I prefer going to work actually, than to stay home on my off days. Working has become fun to me. Its quite like going to school, when you're in it , you cant wait to leave. when you're out of it, you'll miss the fun of it. Now i'm just hoping the next 2 weeks will past slightly faster and i can get my pay. Seriously, its hard to earn money. You minus away my cpf , transportation and all my expenses, I'm hardly left with anything much. Thats why I'm on a thrifty diet. Absolutely no spending unnecessarily.

Working in this job has taught and made me realised alot of things. I'm only working short term, so whatever the job prospect is, doesnt really bothers me. However, some of my colleagues are there permanently. Its not that the job isn't good or anything, its just tough money to earn. I'm going to have to make sure I make my mark if (ever) I go to university.

Its also good that mine is a monthly pay instead of hourly pay. Sometimes we are made to do extra OT together, suffer this and that, but that kinda made everyone closer together. I just feel it wouldn't be the same with hourly pay where every minute is so precious. anyway, just to side track, my shop is having 50% discount! Its freaking cheap, come down shop ok. While stocks last! What are u waiting for ?!?! ( sales isn't doing well now, haha. must advertise abit).

We just had dinner with B gang people on tues. Its kind of like a send off for those going NS. Fast isn't it? Hope they'll get use to it and very soon it'll be my turn. I'll remember to bring prickly heat powder and Fabreeze or something. ha. i used to think army will be the benchmark for being an adult. i just feel i'm not that ready to be a grown-up yet. But i'll be forced into it when the time comes.

i'm starting to miss alot of things. Things that used to be part of my life and went missing. i'm searching for them. realised i've lost quite alot of things in life i've never managed to salvage. or rather, i never tried to salvage. i could have saved alot of things if i did try. sadly i didnt. now when i try to, many are no longer there for salvaging. i read this somewhere "letting go doesnt mean giving up, but accepting that there are somethings that just cannot be.." i've accepted too many too much...

zonked...

2007-01-04T20:42:00.000+08:00

i rented vcds for my off day today. Watched Cars by pixar. Its a wonderful show i tell you. no wonder it was rated 4 stars, much to others' disbelief. i dunno why its nice, but its just nice la. there are lessons to be learnt throughout the show and i like the heartwarming ending that always goes with such show. go watch if there's a chance. i always have a strong affinity for cartoons, i just find them more enjoyable than alot of other shows. i doubt that will change in the near future.

lightning mcqueen... be the winner of my own piston cup.

2007-01-01T12:14:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YR PEEPZ!
what a year it has been seriously. highs n lows , highs n lows, (repetition!) certainly not for the faint hearted. soccer A div, emotional blips, 'A' levels... rough rough rides... (alliteration! + repetition). well, i've came thru everything rather unscathed, still i have regrets and memories that i chose not to bring along with me. anyway, for the new yr 2007 i'll just hope it promises more laughter, joy n love. 2006 will be gone in history. a good yr ahead everyone =)

for the last few days i've been working late night. shop closes at 12 for sales. its tiring of cos, but somehow i've enjoyed working there. lots of colourful character and funny ppl. that just made working alot nicer. of cos there are the usual villians that spy ard and backstabbing ppl, hmm, i'm getting used to tt as well. today is my off day! precious day for me to rest while the shop goes back to usual operating hours when i go back tml. just to emphasize again, guys that fold clothes are HoT ! ha... i do them 12 hrs a day, imagine the temperature in me! sizzling ... ssss

2006-12-28T17:03:00.000+08:00

ah hey! M-I-A for quite some time from here. have been looking for a job recently. Went to jobsdb.com.sg , zara , topman, borders, gap and club 21 to find jobs. Finally , i'm employed! i'll be working at Pull and Bear vivocity (which is under the same company as zara) from tml till 31st march 07! wonder what will be awaiting me at work. hopefully it'll be a fruitful 3 months there. i'm kinda excited and at the same time unsure.
one thing for sure, there's no more saturday soccer for me! sacrifices have to be made, things dun always go exactly the way we want them to. Anyway, come look for me if you're free! FREE !

the prospect of having my first pay check is so exciting. i'll be getting lotsa stuffs. the shopping list has been updated! ahh i dunno wat else to write le ... bless me at work tml.

2006-12-18T23:41:00.000+08:00

i just have an urge to blog today even though i do not really have anything to blog on.

i'm having wild tantrums these days. little little minor things seems to piss me off rather easily. go away, mood swings. i've just sent a complain letter to SMRT after one bus driver apparently tried to challenge my rights as a passenger. ha, come to think of it, its a rather rash act of the moment. i wonder how would SMRT reply.

i'm feeling much better alr, still weak and drowsy from the medication. i'm also tired from dota'ing every night, give me something else to do then? at least thats keeping me safe from the blades n knives loneliness has flung at me. life seriously isnt good at all now . . .

there's this something that happened quite some weeks ago but i just wan to rant it out.
To u : i dunno if you still read my blog, but i'm seriously disappointed after i read the entry from ur blog the other time. so after all those times, i'm just a fling to u? for all the effort i've put into our relationship, its hurts. even though so much time has passed and we've all moved on, those comments still brought about so much unrest within me. you are someone special to me, that i know i'll never forget. i hope i can remember you as that charming and beautiful girl, but you just have to scar my memory of you forever...

2006-12-17T16:36:00.000+08:00

caught the sick virus. havent been feeling this bad in a long long time. head is heavy, body is aching and suffering from chills. Feeling rather vulnerable now.

2006-12-14T20:22:00.000+08:00

I've finally gotten my hands on prison break, after soughting after it for sooooooo long. I finished the whole season in 1.5 days. It sure does tells you how nice the show is. I've always liked shows that surprises you time and time again with its pure ingenuity and this show doesnt disappoint. The plot is excellent too but the dreadful part is it did not end in a proper manner. Felt as though its not here nor there kind of feeling. The second season is out in US and hopefully we'll hear from it soon here.

Prison Break

I liked the idea behind the whole thing bout the younger brother breaking in to save the older brother. The whole idea of a Secret Service is also pretty disturbing throughout the show. just made me wonder are we really really safe?? There's just too much behind the scene that we do not know to be sure of that.

Dr. Sara Tancredi

Apart from her genuine good looks, being a doctor greatly boosted her appeal. The girl-next-door looks with the charisma of a doctor is a deadly combination. isnt she pretty ?

Fish, Michael Scofield.

He isnt exactly the good looking kind. Scofield in the show is like a guy with a bad boy image but a heart of gold. this made his rather good looking in a sense. and i do think the tattoos look good on him, not that i'm advocating such art.

i just felt posting picture will make my blog more interesting so i'll be posting more. i'm broke and i'll be staying home for some time now...

2006-12-11T01:09:00.000+08:00

happy birthday...

to me...

it doesnt feels right... the pink light is not blinking.

its saddening to know that certain things can be forgotten so easily.

2006-12-08T19:29:00.000+08:00

how sick and tired i am of all the partings. i just had to go through it over and over again. mayb this time, it felt abit stronger cos, unlike my sec sch friends, these ppl are the ones that i might probably not see again for the rest of my life. one of my friends is leaving and mayb not returning. words simply could not describe the kind of feeling. this is when every one of us hope we could turn back time, back to a time when everything could be going wrong but having each other just made everything right. take care all my friends...

prom was fun. stupid bp! took away something thats so nice from me! gRr.... everybody looked great. food wasnt nice, but the company was excellent. took lots of photos... did i mentioned yuhao was the prom king! haha, his Q n A was classic... lol. but great to see him win. presenting to u ... the king!

after prom we went clubbing. hmmm , was shocked by alot of things. grinding ?? drunk ?? not a place suitable for me... ha. here's some pics...

2 mountains and a valley...

sometimes the valley will grow abit taller..

happy faces

this is for you yishin!

3 couples and a bunch of loners

muahahahahha , waitresses . . . =p

soccer!

time stopped ...

Best pals....

hardcore!

2006-11-28T20:25:00.000+08:00

i reached home rather early today, back into an empty house. my heart was alot emptier in a sense. having nth to do does not make things any better. i sat staring at the com screen for nearly an hour, not wanting to move nor think. the old familiar music brought back images of the past. and there i was, allowing myself to sink further and further into this trance as the music plays on. the yearning for a voice, a soul mate came stronger than ever today. it just had to be your doings.

i lied when i wished you all the best,
cos i cant.
i swear i wont cry . . .

2006-11-23T23:12:00.000+08:00

today went swimming with bugger, kong ba, steven and yuhao. the person who suggested swimming ended up still aslp when we've reached the swimming complex! LYK ! lol...peng joined us afterwards. after swimming we went to watch movie, play xbox , play bridge and went home. it was a simple yet fun time together la. always filled with laughters and more laughters. i guess we are all glad to have each other's company as there's really nth much for us to do at home. At least for me, the feeling has faded awaay ( dun ever come back !)

recently lots of good news from my friends. really happy for them, after years of being with us, they've finally gotten their "perfect life". well, some are still in the process but many have already launched their ships and sailing swift and strong. everytime i teased them , their shy smile just tells alot bout their happiness =)

at the end of every busy day, i'll just so happen to think of her. i think it has something to do with the joyous atmosphere thats surrounding me. these days. my soul tends to be a little weak and emotional when all is dark and quiet in the middle of the night and i yearn for a support. but i'll always force myself to go to bed... before the emptiness sets in.

cheers to the life ahead...

2006-11-18T21:21:00.000+08:00

The A's , i can happily say now, is over... however, i feel i'm in a transition period. i do not know what to feel ? i feel pretty lost all of a sudden. Its like all the while my path was guided and i know where i'm going. but now, i'm left to navigate my own way. two words, aimless and helpless. i wish this feeling goes away soon ... i think i should list out a list of things i wanna complete in this 5 months before my ns. its hard having to wake up every morning and cracking my brain on what to do today. my mum used to tell me, next time when u dont have anything to study or when you've to step into society, you'll miss studying. i use to think " what crap!"but those were golden words which i can fully understand now.

i packed my notes the other day... (baa baa black sheep have u any wool?) 3 boxes full to be exact. tts quite a number of trees! its gonna be hard to part with these comrades that brave the grenades of exams and the bullets of tutorials with you. they have definitely made me stronger. Purple badge as a sign of courage and valor to my notes! *salute* At the same time, i'm begining to worry for my results. for subjects like gp n physics, its gonna be a tough fight. hopefully , the end result will not invoke too much unrest in me.

ok next up... whaat should i do tml ?? hmmm...

2006-11-09T19:53:00.000+08:00

hey!

been almost a month since i last wrote. everything's finally coming to a conclusion at last. juz 1 last week and it'll be over. i juz got a feeling i wont be as excited as i am expected to after the exams. nonetheless, a break from studies for 2 yrs is greatly welcomed. watching the occupied soccer courts on my way home juz reminded me how much i've missed it. cant wait for the weekly sessions to resume. i'll definitely be going back for soccer trainings as well. hopefully aj will do much better next yr.

juz finished maths paper today... aww, 12 long years of maths journey and it has ended alr. *sob sob. i will miss maths too. ha... i notice the same thing happening day in day out. ppl coming out of the exam hall will be busy " @%$#@$%^@#$% " over exams questions. they will ask each other " so hows the paper ?" and the reply always came back "okok lo". i dun discuss my papers after i've done it but when ppl ask me how did i do, i'll reply the same way as the others. i juz wonder if i could give a more elaborate ans. no matter how well i felt i did, there's always this "obligation" to juz replied okok or not bad. mayb it is to prevent ppl from misinterepreting it as arrogance.

this time round for maths, i felt i did pretty well, probably well enough to warrant an A. quiet confidence they say. but at the same time there's this sense of insecurity tt is overwhelming the confidence. ironic, no doubt. however, in retrospect, i felt i did well for prelims too, only to be hit right smack in the face with an E. tt was a great fall considering i was aiming for B. so i do not really know which feeling to trust. one thing for sure, this feeling will go away when the dust settles. i'll be peeking at my result slip next yr like a guy playing black jack, holding a King and praying for the pointed end of the ace to appear. hopefully my hard work will be justified. my messy room will be a testament to that.

tts all for now..

2006-10-13T22:34:00.000+08:00

i'm officially no longer a student today. parting is a part of life, and i've come to accept it years ago. no matter how strongly i felt against it, time has always manged to soften the impact of such emotions on myself. as we grow older and more accustomed to such a cycle of parting, we learn to deal with it.

watching the concert today was a joy. things close to our hearts makes us laugh and i sure had a good laugh. the maths teachers were damn cool! i wish i had everything on video. their performance would've been a classic. all the best wishes we've got today especially those from the teachers made me felt loved in a sense. for the very first time, there was really this family kind of feeling. everyone full of concern for the rest. its sad it had to come on the last day.

last - was the word we hang ard our mouth( as the chinese saying goes) on the last day. we greeted our teacher the last time, sang the school song for the last time. had pe for the last time. doing alot of other things for the last time. i was talking about this day months ago.. and heaven seems to be fast forwarding the days. its here alr...

i'll miss this place that i happened to come across during a period in my life.

move along...

2006-10-06T12:51:00.000+08:00

I have led a life of mediocrity. Its a life filled with sparks, but sparks not enough to glow. Up till now, I was contented. But for everyone, there comes a time when fairy tales no longer existed and every choice you made could eventually affect how the next few decades of your life is going to be. For me, i've seen how my mediocrity has set me panicking.

I was once a person who prefers to be somewhere near the ordinary, be an average joe. i remember my teacher once told me," you are the only few in class who is both street and academic smart. you'll go far". Again i stayed mediocre throughout sec sch and jc.

How i wished i had the desire to push myself all the way right from the start. what would i have become then? i have seen how much opportunity i've lost. even though i'm taking only 3 subs now, i would have like to take F maths, maths S and chem S. It may seems like i'm looking beyond what i can do. But somehow, i feel I can if i really wanted to.as for scholarships, i nv once thought in my life that i'll be eligible and so the tot of getting it naturally did not exist. the feeling now is different. I went to look at the private scholarships for offer, and there are definitely a few i'm interested. but all of their requirements stated " at least one S paper " i was like, d*mn!

the class i'm in now is a very fun class however, we're not up there in terms of studies. our teachers are all worrying for us, and the look on their faces tells me its serious anxiety. they all hoped we could at least get a C for their subject, considering all the O's and the E's we're getting now. i feel its too low a target to set for myself. i'm still aiming for A A A. all together i need to jump a total of 10 grades for all 3 subs !!! haha, i dont feel its impossible. to a certain extent,a simple life is soothing but i do need to step out of this mediocrity. the important thing is, i know i can do it with a little bit of luck. i hope all my friends are feeling the same way too. rise up to the occasion. chem engineering here i come!

i'm not praying for a miracle, i'm working one right now.

'do not disturb' ...

2006-10-01T09:17:00.000+08:00

had our usual routine yesterday. morning went to buy food for bbq then after tt go play soccer.the sky wasnt looking too good but we played nonetheless. it was sure tiring. . . but every time we played i just really enjoyed myself. evening had our bbq, alison who normally does the cooking had food poisioning. together with the ultra strong fire that they started, food started getting burnt and dried. we still ate them la... melvin brought liquor along. haha.. ah sai dont drink. discipline. even oon drank~ we sat ard and started chatting till the stars appear. this is the future i foresee. chatting over a few cups of drinks. some even said next time our bbq will more likely be a family bbq with kids and wives. hopefully the bachelor term could have the exact opp effect on everyone. watching everyone blog bout this at the end of the day, i'm sure they felt the same way as i do. we all had fun reliving the good ol' days.

we're growing up . . .

2006-09-26T13:48:00.000+08:00

a long overdue post... anyway, gotten back part of prelims result. haha... tt was a laugh of guilt , disappointment and anxiety. EE for maths n chem. kinda omg for me ... and to think my physics currently at a B (without paper 3) could be my best sub. results doesnt tally with effort. i've gotten the scare i needed, now to work on them. NO GAMING and less tv, probably less online time as well. i will find the form that spurred me on last yr. every other thing out of my mind now... A's, the holy grail.

the difference between pure genius and stupidity. there's limit to one's intelligence but stupidity knows no limit.

looking forward to bbq this sat. the last bbq we had was like last yr ?? pretty long ago. our bbq has always been fun n i'm sure this time it will be no exception. we tried to get every one to bring girls along but apparently the idea is not v feasible. awkward situations are foreseen. so i guess it'll be a guys night out once more, with lotsa fun of cos.

i juz cant seems to let go of certain things even after so long. dwelling onto something tts foregone doesnt do me any good n it sure sux. i think u've found ur mr sept and i wish tt u'll be happy . . . i juz hope our conclusion could be a little better than it was. tts probably one of the regrets i have. ur impt exams is coming, good luck. all the best . . .

2006-09-16T17:30:00.000+08:00

Hey,
My prelims are half way down the road and in about 6 weeks time, i'll meet the giant A's! Its now half time so i'm taking a not so deserved break. I went to play soccer today with bgang. Expected, the turnout was poor cos the other jc's ppl are either studying or nursing their injured knees! Nonetheless, for the sake of my deprived poly friends, we just made do with 10 people and played under the scorching sun. All work no play makes jack a dull boy. damn, my body is taking the toll from my exercise-less lifestyle, late night sleeps and all the junkies food. All the aches are released right at this very moment. Its a familiar feeling for me though, to feel all the aches and stuffs. I miss soccer training, matches and the dinner dates. i remember how i always loved to rush back home, take a bath and hopped into bed. Its one of the nicest feeling ever! That instant, all the pain seems to be gone. try it!

i did my physics paper 1 & 2 on thurs. I have to say its to my relief that the paper is manageable. i even "completed" way before the time is up. thats some accomplishment. The past few struggles with the physics paper always ended up with me trying to squeeze in whatever crap i could think of to fill up the lines up till the final second. I started to do what i used to do to kill time during exams in the past. I held my breath for as long as i could repeatedly. It made me realised how long i have not played with this breath holding thing. I came up with this breath holding during primary school days when i'll always have about 1hr to kill. nowadays, if you have 1hr to kill, you're either godlike or in deep shit. Its a very effective way to kill time. you'll be surprised how time flies when you're playing this. try it !

'did u know tt it is easier to say what you want by writing it in a diary than saying it to someone in the face? but do u know tt it has more value when u say it to their face?'

-what would you do ?

2006-09-04T21:42:00.000+08:00

i haven been studying hard when i should. i cant really be bothered at times. i know this is bad. ya, i keep hearing this. ahhh , i need a poor poor prelim to whack me straight up. gogogo ??

steve irwin passed away. i respect environmentalist like him. i wish i can be one like him. they do not get paid alot for wat they do, but they do it with such passion tt will probably put lotsa others to shame. he always say " ooh, this is a beauty " no matter how ugly the snake or the reptile he'd picked up. its the kind of passion n drive that really makes one's life fulfilling. i'm a keen viewer of discovery, national geog and animal planet and so i see steve irwin rather often. its sad, tt his shows will probably be stopped. but he died doing things he love doing which he wont regret doing. salute~

my friend said, thinking back, he cant think of nice things bout ajc. his 3 years (retained) was tainted with unpleasant memories. a major part of mine was too but every period of life has lesson to be learnt and memories to be cherished. a seemingly downpoint could potentially be the catalyst to propel one to future success. and amidst all the painful memories there will be tiny little things tt we initially didnt notice, that is worth treasuring. half filled ? or half empty ? its up to you to choose.

watching it all slip as i stood rooted not knowing wat i should or could do . . .

2006-08-31T22:43:00.000+08:00

happy teachers' day.. the last i'll celebrate as a student technically. back in the bp days, we're always complaining how boring this is tt is. now that i'm in aj, bp does has a relatively much more interesting celebration n atmosphere. reminds me of cheering com as well. one thing remains the same though, which is the smile on the teachers face when u wish them a happy teacher's day. smile of satisfaction, warmth n pride.

i went back to bp today, after the celebration in aj ended at like 9.15 ?? tts early..familiar environment with a different feeling. kinda feel out of place. "change is the only constant". the teachers must be feeling gd seeing the products of their teachings come back, surviving well in the adverse conditions of higher education. its good to see them surviving well in the equally harsh confinement of education.

i look at the sec 1s n 2s .. i looked like tt last time ?!?! innocent + ignorance + petite features + "yay tml no sch !" look on their face. nth else seems to concern them. i dunno why , but i unconsiously pity them for they will be like me in a few years time. the margin for error , they will realise, is decreasing at an increasing rate. stakes are getting higher n higher. u dun screw up the only 1 life u have. u can only hope u have a screw driver in hand if u ever do, to unscrew.

somehow , its a dry dry day for me in contrast to the weather. watched monster house in the evening with bgang. lol... wasnt a v nice show, neither was it too bad. but i dun mind la, cos i really think the company once in a while (regardless of the quality of the movie) is fun to have.

each time we rubbed shoulders, we looked away.
each time we were this near, it felt like infinity.
damn... this isnt wat i wanted.
and each time , i try to tell myself. . .

2006-08-26T08:03:00.000+08:00

everything is picking up pace, studying of cos. coping well for some , not coping well for the others. hopefully when the time comes , i'll get my perspectives right. i was watching my alarm clock the other day, hearing the tick tick sound. haha, and then i told myself, every tick u hear, u're one second closer to a levels. well, tt got me a little panicky over it. i still need to up my pace alittle. looking at how the others go, i'm like riding a bike vs their F1 race car. watch me fly...

i need divine intervention for my physics . . .

hey A,
i saw u danced the aces day thing the other day. this is like only the third time. ha i still remember the first time was during the lunch time concert and i ran out from my mass civics. but no more pe for me le i guess? you dont seem to be in a v good mood recently again. hope everything clears up for u. take care n study hard.

2006-08-18T21:36:00.000+08:00

i came back today and took a long nap. woke up and sat there dazing. amidst all the studying, i felt a sudden sense of emptiness again. i think i need something which i can look forward to. busy searching for what possibly could do that and i found nth. i know how impt this exam is... but mayb that little bit of something i was looking for could make everything seems alittle more enjoyable.

i fear for the future if life is going to be anythign like it is now. i wake up each morning to drag my feet to school. i try hard to keep myself going during classes. when classes end, i took the long quiet journey back home. slp eat work slp.. and the cycle continues again. no sparks~

i watched click. it was a nice movie. how i wish i can have tt remote now. i would have probably set it to auto rewind! the past holds more to me than the future sometimes. n i definitely need more time to really complete my revision. i would love to try the chapter mode as well, revisiting the past and everything. then i'll know if anyone tried to poison my burger. morty morty, where are u ?! mayb if it happened to me as well, i 'll learn to cherish more the things i have. sadly, which i think i dont really do now.

100 days is all i have left. those precious few glances. i know i'm gonna miss tt few secs every morning.

2006-08-05T21:19:00.000+08:00

army life is like creeping near. abit excited abit not too... i went to the ndu for test the other day. its the navy diving unit for those who din know. i guess we dun really have much a choice bout things like this. i would have loved to join the air force and fly a plane or something. ha.. fat hope. hmmm, the ndu looks tough n i've heard from officers there bout life. actually come to think of it, going to tekong n having bmt there would be more fun yeah ? but like i've said, i dun really have a choice. look on the bright side, its only two years right ? =S

oh, i wondered if i've mentioned here before. i went to act in a movie as an extra in yr 2004. i was waiting for the movie to be out but it didnt. till like today, i saw the vcd n rented it ! though its only like less than 10s of screen time, ha, its still quite exciting to see urself! lol... the show is house of harmony starring fann wong n maggie Q. check it out !

time's running out . . . tick tick tick.

the dream that was nv meant to be and the only regret that will always be with me.

2006-07-28T20:20:00.000+08:00

i just handed over my captaincy today. wat a few months it has been. on certain days, i was cursing this role i had. i had to take care of lotsa things n when things go wrong, its my fault. but today, i just feel that everything was worth the effort. felt a great sense of pride. sitting there on the stage with all the other leaders is quite an experience. i could almost feel that everyone of us is unwilling, almost rdy to take on another yr in the office n fight in the A'div again. 2 yrs is juz too short for too many good things to happen.

i bought nizar an armband n put in on for him on stage. its almost as if i'm like beckenbaur giving a pat on the back to ballack. makes me feel rather senior. ha but anyway... my this 2 yr stint as captain of ajc has been the most unforgettable of all. playing in front of ur sch, ur friends, people special to u and having them cheer u on is a special feeling. i can understand why my coach always say " i've forgotten much of my national team games... but up till now, i can remember the day i don the cjc jersey and every single game i played to win the championship." i've juz run out of vocab to describe wat i feel. ha. in short i dont think i'll get that chance to exp tt again. mayb i'll join again in uni , but then again , the feeling i think would be v diff.

i've made friends who shed blood, tears, sweat all for the sake of the sch. i've learnt life skills i'll nv learn else where. n i've left my little mark on the on-going legacy of ajc captains. (teh x 9) AJ !

i sat on the stage, pretending to be looking ard but i was searching for u. " are u looking for me as well ? " i dare not stare , stealing glances once every few seconds. i would have like adib to represent soccer but i juz hope u could feel proud of me for one last time. when my named was called, i hoped u'll be clapping with with a smile. in the end i did not know if any of those happened. i only remembered wat happened earlier in the day. . . . . . .

2006-07-27T22:49:00.000+08:00

hey,

like i've said, the weekdays are really flying past faster than speed of light. has the no. of hours per day shorten ?? i'm getting off at a really slow pace and i dun have a good feeling bout the outcome. gosh, wat worse is i'm feeling the urgency n yet not enough fuel to power forward like an old engine. vroom... *cough cough* ... vroom. i'm worried bout my gp.

i got this feeling i'm competing in the tour de france. at the begining i've got all the people ard me, taking turns to brave the drag force at the front of the pack. slowly slowly, some of them fell off their bike and subsequently, out of the race. during the last stretch, i'm all alone to speed down the hills, to claim the yellow jersey. but then, i've no body to share my joy at the finish. i'm all alone. there's nv a 2 person race anyway. there's always only a winner.

i went to play for yishin's blue devil ystday. the truth is , i kinda sucked. yishin asked why i looked more devastated than him after the game. i told him i'm tired. actually i am la , but i felt i could have put in tt little bit more effort really. if its my competition game, i would have threw myself at the ball, but i just didnt felt quite the need for it. until at the end, watching him struggle to conceal his disappointment with a smile. i should have upped my game alittle just even for tt 10 mins. mayb it wont make a difference to the score but at least i know i've play my best for a friend. mayb the combination of chelsea and man utd as team name was a bad omen to start with. ha... well, if u want to enjoy this sat, u have better get ur passion burning again. its now like a flame in swaying winds...

hope you're doing fine ... n i hope i've finally got it.

2006-07-19T17:55:00.000+08:00

hey~ be prepared for a long entry today! many interesting things happened throughout this week.

"98, 99 , 100! here i come ! " ystday's morning assembly started with this sentence. my sch debator went up to present to the sch her winning speech - hide n seek. she said that, contrary to popular tots , adults still play hide and seek. but the version we play is more complex. we do not hide our physical self but our inner self. we hide our emotions, our motives and every other thing else n i find it rather true. i'm guilty of it everyday. but analysing wat i've learnt from science as well, the ideal case is always too far fetched from the reality. i think if a person does not hide his emotions, intention , motives etc, he will be a very unpopular person. it is a form of accomodation that we hide our inner self which we believe is better off hiden inside a corner of our heart. as much as i do not wish to hide, the reality always jerks me up from castle-building in the air. the reality has no place for that kind of innocence i believe. anyway that was a good speech she gave, made me think and ponder.

today i also went to donate blood for the first time. ok, i think i was one of the v v few who still had to go with a consent form! was kinda excited that it is my first time. not much pain , juz abit sore over the wound. the needle is huge though, bigger than ur mechanical pencil's opening. some of their bodies reacted rather violently to the drop in volume of blood. joseph was one them, he was acting strong with a pale face and in the end had to be carried back in by the nurse.ha... it was a great exp , and knowing that i could help someone with tt blood donation, it felt great. so BE A BLOOD DONOR TODAY!

I also attended a talk by a chemical engineer. My dream occupation! chemical engineer! ha.. it is of no doubt my interest lies in chem rather than physics. it also seemed to me that being a chemical engineers is rather an interesting. u get to come up with new molecular formular for soaps, new octave oil, invent your own medicine etc. cool right ? it isnt like wat my mum tot it was, sitting in a lab juz doing experiments. its more than tt~ if u are lucky to work in jurong island, u get to deal with millions n millions of dollars worth of contract. now, talk about an interesting job. another gd side of it is , its the highest paid industry in sg! the avg salary of workers in the chem industry is $5500! the speaker also said he knew of counterparts who has salaries 6 times this amount! omg. tts a holy sum! not including bonus, overtime, raise, insurance. that would adds up to bout more than half a million a year! but of cos not everyone gets to have tt kind of holy pay. for now, i shall work hard to get into chemical engineering which has a cut off point of 66 -.-' in layman's term, it means 3 A and a minimum of B3 for gp. for my mid yr result, i only managed 25.5. not even half way there. lol. but still, i'll strive for it. SO DUN ASPIRE TO BE A CHEM ENGINEER N COMPETE WITH ME!

nowadays, i'll all too busy with my mugging. time seems to be running faster n faster. the weekdays i used to dread, is flashing past me. i'm kinda like lost in a transition. i slowly realised how much more time i've left in this sch. i walked to the bus stop with my soccer ppl juz now. and its like deja vu, a vicious cycle. mayb not vicious la. i've seen it happened to my seniors be4 and now its my turn. dun think i'll have much time to spent with ppl in the sch. n i know before i will realise it, its gonna be goodbye again. how i hate all the partings n goodbyes. i looked at the field with my coach in his familar waga shirt. mixed feelings of pride, joy, sadness, confusion ... he's one man i'll nv forget. to sum it up, i'm starting to cherish all the ppl in sch but i dun have much time to do so. n there's always this thing tt will make me feel seems so incomplete, n i guess it will carry on to do so.

at times i do wish you know i have a blog. its harder to tell you things now. alright. melancholic mood over. mugging programme set.' if maths be the food of love... prove on!'

2006-07-11T21:45:00.000+08:00

italy won the world cup. good, so the one star on my france jersey can remain. everyone will be disputing about zidane's headbutt ( wat a head he has!). i agree its bad for the millions of kids watching but soccer is an emtional game. somehow i dun see the big significance of all these debates bout it. he has got a red card, france has lost and we should just leave everything to history. its juz another 'sighting' from this game. this man has the utmost respect from me. not only tt he's the nicest looking baldy ard. he's just a quiet man tt let his feet do the talking. mayb his head at times. i think we should juz remember him for all the magic he has done on the pitch. treasure this living legend for as long as you can.

i met my friend on the train ystday. we used to be quite close but for wat reason i dunno , we drifted. even though we're from the same sch we hardly see each other. as we were on the train, 3 sentence was all we spoke n then the long awkward silence. i tried to behave like how we used to. but it seems like time has washed away more than wat i tot it had. as the train doors closed, we waved goodbye. i just dont like the feeling of tt ? they will be the people i'll remember when i leave my sch. but memories can sometimes be such a faint thing. one day i might just forget tt i ever had this good friend.

anyway, the teachers are making me panick! push button push button. emergency liaoz, hopefully i can stay on course and stick to wat i had mentally planned. muggerman ?

2006-07-07T22:49:00.000+08:00

inter house today! i was pretty excited cos this is the first time i'm organising something this scale. i dont wish for anything to go wrong. but like they always say, no matter how much planning u do, there's always room for the unexpected. we managed to overcome them in the end anyway. they are mostly about us trying to keep to the schedule which, is near impossible.

i tell you, 3 pitches playing soccer simultaneously is a sight to behold so most likely those ppl watching wouldnt see the glitches. especially when the girls looked like they enjoyed it too. when my friend said thx for organising this, ahhh~ there's a tiny sense of achievement from within. i was happy how everything turned out. managed to get a gold again after missing on it for the last 3 yrs. king of the school again =)

it feels great to be playing on the field again. i do missed all the training sessions. everything was great today... it would be better if you were there. i missed playing for something. images flood back. reality pushes it away.

i scored my first competitive penalty after missing the last 4 ! LOL. wat a time to break the jinx. a sign tt i'll scale my A level ! ok think too much. wan go slp alr . bb.

2006-07-02T20:38:00.000+08:00

right now i'm in the midst of my short post-tests break. enjoying it to a certain extent. i'm just glad, i can catch up on some slp tt has eluded me due to the world cup, tests and other external factors.

england is out n brazil is out. great, this world cup has no more teams left for me to root for. n wat was the ref thinking when he gave rooney tt red card ?!?! (my friend called rooney shrek) damn la, everytime lose on penalties. they didnt even put up a stiff test for the "Egg-tarties" ! 2 people i would put my life on to score, lampard n gerrard, they missed! eng deserved to be out, they weren't their best this tournament. the bookies must be smiling their way to slp last night.

brazil? champions ? pre-mature talks i would say. disapointed. i bought my france away jersey n i wore it watching tt game. but i was supporting brazil. n they lost in such a way tt made france looking really gd. brazil vs germany would have been a worthy finals of my standard. now, no matter which teams emerged into the finals , it will nv be one i'll be looking forward to.

i'm low on confidence and self-esteem right now. just dont possessed the kind of arrogance i had in the past. aura of invincibility has diminished... n it sure is affecting me. must find that confidence back. back to being someone i'd enjoy being.

2006-06-28T19:04:00.000+08:00

hey! tml is my last paper, physics. crap, they always put physics on the last day. they must have known tt physics is my weakest and tt i most probably would have no mood to study the night be4! i know nuts bout physics la. i can only blame myself for the late night gaming during the hols.

gp was ok, but it always turn out the opp. maths was ok as well. satisfied but not the best. chem was bad, downright sucky. those topics i focused on only make up like 10 %. i practically left 2 qns blank for free response! haha. but nvm , this exam is not impt.

the morning rays are beaming
and the heart is heavy,
i know wat i was looking for,
something i've been missing.
for that few seconds it all came back,
the smile and the purple rubber band.
strange as it seems,
nothing was quite same.
all i'm trying to show was a facade,
for deep inside i wanted to know.
i didnt wanted to turn right then,
cos i didnt wanted her to learn,
that the beautiful days before,
is nv forgotten.

2006-06-23T21:26:00.000+08:00

i was told that one of my senior soccer friend's father passed away. he was the sole breadwinner of the family of 5. my friend is in the army now, and he constantly has to worry bout his family. but i'm relieved cos he seemed quite strong in his blog. i hope its not a facade that he's trying to put up. i know he'll be strong. i was nv very close to him like i was with the other seniors.but somehow i can feel how painful it must have been for him to lose someone dear to him. mayb its cos i'm not going thru a pleasant period of my life, but i'm ashamed. give him strength and may God bless him and his family.

happy ppl past my way . . . :)

2006-06-20T13:02:00.000+08:00

i cant wait for school to reopen so i can finish all the tests and get it over and done with. i know i will regret saying this when sch reopens again but , holiday is Boring. this is just not the kind of holiday for me. i cant create the mood to study.now i can do with some indulgence among friends to keep me up, cant afford to be down.

chatted with a few girl friends bout world cup. ha, some of them seems to be more crazy than me over soccer. well, somehow it just feels good knowing someone of the opp gender shares such interest cos its not very common. the things they know are not superficial like , england = david beckham , korea = ahn jung hwan or brazil = fat ronaldo. they do know a thing or 2 which makes it even less common. but of cos there are some who simply cant be bothered with the world cup. lol. the other day i also saw this girl wearing france away jersey!! she was wearing spects too! i tell you, thats a pretty sight. i think girls look nicer in jerseys than guys do. haha

enough of self pity, i'll fight hard against my desires no matter how contradictory i think it is. i will. haven been studying hard. going to study le. -

2006-06-16T23:22:00.000+08:00

i saw a short post on a blog n i found it really nice. but now i cant find it ?!? mayb its deleted or something?? sad. i know roughly wat it says but i cant remember the exact words. tot the words would really bring out how i feel. mayb its a sign tts all should be washed away.

tonight is one of the , i should say, philosophical night that i always have. juz kept thinking of things about life. i read celest's blog,and hahaa, i juz felt i want to do something to change my life. not so much bout the christianity part but juz wanted to do something to spark a positive change. mayb the "hallelooyah" song in the background did its magic, i was thrown into a sea of tots. tots so deep that either i stay afloat towards paradise , or sink beneath the abyss of the dark.

i think once in a while everyone should have such a night. some time alone to think n reflect. is this life the way u want it to be ?? i'm not too sure bout things...

2006-06-14T16:55:00.000+08:00

human body is so amazing... i did not catch a wink last night n yet i'm still going on strong now.i went to surf the net after the brazil game and then went to cmpb for my checkup. first time i'm doing such a checkup so i was rather excited. however, my excitement was greeted by the grumpy lady at the counter and several other black-faced officers. its not monday wat... ? i saw bp's halim (spell check pls) and one aj bballer. hahah, din talk to both of them, cos dun really know them well. we went through all the stations in breeze. the more nervous part was the blood test. i was abit paranoid and wat have you, but in the end its not painful at all -.- " i was also looking forward to the x-ray taking. imagine all the gamma rays shooting through ur body~ sounds cool right!?! YA RIGHT! no feeling at all again -.-" a few funny incidents here and there with the urine test and the doctor consultation. lazy to blog down.

after the medical checkup, i was still early for my physiotherapy so i went to queensway to take a walk. wah see alot of things. i know my season is over, but i wan to buy boots! especially the adidas tunit (spain) flaming red boots. i fell in love with france's white away jersey la. germany's black away or spain's white away jersey also not bad. but they are EX! doubt it would be worth it. i also wan buy the golden teamgeist world cup final ball. then i reminded myself we live in a world of scarcity. $$ is limited. put aside the wants from the needs. that enlightened me so much so that i went to get a bowl of katong laksa to fill my needs. haha.

physiotherapy was ok, massage here and there. so its my lower left back muscle thats causing all my leg aches. hmmmm.... to think i tot i might have to amputate it away. LOL. i'm feeling alittle groggy alr. there's a limit to the human body afterall. Bye!

random thought: adidas seems so much superior this time round compared to nike whether is it the jerseys, boots, balls and advertisement. hail the 3 stripes!

2006-06-10T23:51:00.000+08:00

world cup is here! dun be fooled by the exclaimation mark. i'm not feeling the so called 'fever'. i think my A'div gives me more 'soccery' feeling than this world cup la. if i could choose between singapore going to the world cup and aj winning A'div, i would choose the latter. no doubt. mayb the only joy i can derived from this world cup is the rare spectacular football on display and its companionship through the silent night. but who knows, mayb as the tournament progresses i'll get heated up and hungry for the action! england kinda sucks today right...and i still have a soft spot for david beckham. ha.

rare surprise it was last night. kinda rippled the water surface which has calm of recent. it was a pleasant one though. i know i should juz see it as a mirage, something illusionary but it has been bothering me. i dun wan to walk towards a huge barren land thinking its an oasis again.

oh, pls remind me i've got to go to cmpb for the checkup this wed. fast isnt it. ha.. anyway there's a singaporean refereeing the sweden vs trinidad game. must go support! nitez!

2006-06-08T21:03:00.000+08:00

hey!
brought my 2 cousins out for movie today becos they were complaining holidays are too boring. they stayed at home almost everyday other than stepping out for dinner n lunch. tts quite sad for 2 pri kids with no hw for the holidays! ok, they said they were quite happy maple'ing away. dun understand whats with the maple craze.

we watched x-men III. yeah, x-men the show i nv made it to watch before today. ok wateva, its only like 3.5 stars to me. tot its gonna be like some mind blowing 5 stars show. sadly, nope. then the 3 of us had dinner at siam kitchen and headed home.

i noticed something about my cousins tts v different from me when i was their age. i'm pretty certain i'm like 10x more independent than they are now. i think it has something to do with where they grew up in, a green-house like environment. my aunt nv has to work while my mum has to. i was made to do alot of things myself while most things are provided for them physically n mentally i guess. thats why they lacked alot of life skills. they do not know wat buses go to their house, they do not have proper direction sense, their inter-personal relation skills are abit poor at times and even things like picking garlic out of their food has to be done by others. is there something not right here or is it i'm juz weird ?? hmmm, mayb kids are all like this nowadays. we do not have the power to change anything.

days has past, and the sea are tt little bit calmer (if there's such a word). pfftt... the air is so much easier to breathe in now. u get wat i mean? this is juz like drinking coffee, first its bitter then the weird aftertaste. its not exactly a bad taste if u like it. but i dunno whether i like it or not. haha.. it doesn't seems as though i got A2 for lit right.

its been a long entry. gd nitez! sweet dreams!
may the pink light blink. . .

2006-06-05T19:36:00.000+08:00

I started my mugging engine again today.I went to mac to study with some friends. sadly, i only managed to do a few questions on stats. my concentration span is too short for my own liking.time is really running out and i've got like mountains to cover. gRr, perseverance is the word here ! come on guoxing !

i think i need to change. mayb all the while the prob is just me cos its not the first. got so many questions but no answers.

when all you got to keep is strong

Move along, move along like I know you do

And even when your hope is gone

Move along, move along just to make it through

Move along

"err why u ask so many questions ?! " - shattered.

2006-06-04T17:44:00.000+08:00

past few days have been fine. i tot i really could. i really tot so. but nah, mayb i wasnt as brave as i tot i would be. crap. all crap. seems like a forgone conclusion i'm not willing to bow down to.

left dead cold

2006-06-01T11:23:00.000+08:00

mayb my love will come back someday . . .

2006-05-31T11:06:00.000+08:00

studied for but 3 hrs ystday, including the time i spent stoning, looking at the views outside starbucks. it felt gd again, doing something i am in control of, unlike my life now. i've just kick started my car engine, gf . ha... starting slowly but surely.

there was this funny incident when an uncle came into starbucks, went to the counter n ordered , "kopi-o ji puay". which means a cup of coffee. the staff was abit stunned but she went to make some coffee which she think it is. the uncle, who was holding some coins in his hands, was shocked to find out tt it cost $4.50. i think he mistook starbucks for wang jiao which is just next door.

i read alot into tiny details. dunno how to continue alr. going to drown myself with work again. too much free time would do me no gd.

seems like just ystday

2006-05-30T12:11:00.000+08:00

dear blog,

yes, its been exactly 5mths since i last posted anything here. how time flies again. so many things have happened within this period of time. i wonder if this will be another year to forget. its probably one of the lowest point that made me wanna come back and write something. i'm almost filled to the brim.

holidays is here. i've gotta work hard. but a mixture of emptiness, loneliness, worries, nostalgia is stopping me from getting anything done. mind and heart not working as one. i'll get over this soon, at least i hope. when u tot u're almost there and all of a sudden u're left behind. its abit hard to swallow. disappointment too great for me to handle it alone. tried to let my feelings be known, but everytime it comes out in words, i screw up. i'm not prepared to give up but i dunno wat i should do next. vicious cycle they say. memories clings.

goodbye my lover.

2005-12-31T01:10:00.000+08:00

as the year comes to an end, i had a befitting class outing to mark a whole year full of events . it juz feels all the same doesnt it. how the quieter girls are still quiet, how the noisy mingna is still so ... (noisy) n how i still find joy making them the butt of my cruel jokes. as cliche as it may sounds, it juz feels like yesterday when we splitted as a class. even though a majority of them are not present today , like Rain -_-" ... (no sunny though) , mohsin , shaheen , adib, shahril , jasmine etc, the people there is still more than enough to feels like a class. btw, its a 203 outing. i did all the usual things of slacking ard, nipping in on food quicker than a lightning could strike, douse gallons of soft drinks... n DROPPING LOTS OF FOOD ! i think i dropped a satay , chicken wing, otah , hotdogs, crabsticks and ....... a newly opened pringles -_-". u should see how mingna keep nagging " we are already facing a lack of food ! "

actually , i feel younger with them. i find it funny ... mayb cos the time we spend together was when we are rather puny. i felt carefree too, though my hw pile doesnt seems to clear by itself~ i could have this bbq for another 10 hrs, watch another 10 movies, take taxis home another 10 times. i'm indulging in the familiarity i've gotten so use to. unfortunately, this normally only happens once a year la. we are all busy ppl.

i also exchanged gift with anna, she got me this green espirit tee, which is nice. but i would like to have it in a bigger size... ha(it still fits). she also looked really nice in the purple dangling earring i got her! hah ... its good she din get me soft toy this yr...

well, bgang went also... desmond was the star (like duh!). we din teased much, not as much as i tot it would be. i din really entertained them la... but they are superb self entertainers so no worries. when the sky darken, we headed for pasir ris... i went to watched movie with anna yuhao they all... bgang din go la. they all wan go home dota... hahah. whole day dota. anyway, we watched chronicles of narnia at bugis... its a fantastic show i should say. v intrigued at almost every scenes of it. the fighting could be longer ... i've always liked these big scales battles shows... it keeps me going in awe. we took cab home after the shows...

nice day nice day... but back to my work again. ahhhh... killing our famous Mr Issac Newton could solve alot of my problem. happy new year everyone... mayb ur wish come true n WORLD PEACE!

203 MonstarZ

2005-12-23T19:44:00.000+08:00

it takes me a real long time to update. . . but i'm back again

well, today was a pretty interesting day. i had my service learning (SL) at yishin ( i mean yishun ) safra country club's eagles beaver, which is a child care kinda place. the kids there age range from 3-10. i've always like kids, so i didnt think this is too much of a problem for me. but damn, i was so darn wrong.

the kids were adorable no doubt . but they are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hyper n NOISY ! i wondered am i ever like this when i was young ? haha.... my group was neptune n we had a helluva time together. we did ice breaking first , then they requested for piggy backs which i obliged to ! we were supposed to come up with cheers, n guess wat, this is our cheer. ( no cheer , no cheer no cheer no cheer no cheer no cheer no cheer echo no cheer x2 using ole ole ole ole tune ) after tt, we learnt christmas carol ~ tt part was fine, nth much interesting. they remained ever so noisy though. then we proceeded to games. my group was the super heck group, they practically went through the games totally irregarding the rules. tt also made my job of supervising by the side so much more hilarious. they are so cute at times.

we taught the kids dance as, n tt really made me feel like i'm from high 5 ! hahaz... we sing n we danced with a bunch of kids following us. one thing bout kids, their concentration span is so short and so is their memory term. the way they dance also made gravity looked really strong -_-" hahaaz....

as always, there will be one or 2 stand out kids. one of them was keith from which group i dunno! he's the free roaming agent ! he is bout 5 i think , n he dance like a real pro "freestyler". he also has tt cobra dance which he will dance with jerel, another monster age 5 too. then there's this slightly older spiderman who is the worse of all... he doesnt listen tts why. but as kids, they always have the other cute side of theirs. though they made our job really tough, at the end of it, i think we all missed them.

the food there were also delicious, its good food n there's no limit to it. so i believe the cost of sending ur child there might be quite high. the teachers , from wat i can see , are pretty well trained to deal with kids, they all have their way on kids which really made me admired them. one day , n my whole class was left shagged by the intensity of noise n running ard catching kids back. the teachers have to face them 5 days a week! tt would be hell for most of us but not the teachers. *salute*

haha, i suddenly rememdered one incident. the kids are really affectionate ya... we made the group of like almost 20 go kiss our class giant , nico , who stands at a staggering 1.88m weighing 130 kg!!! he was helpless against 20 "sexually deprived" kids, who went all out for the kiss. he ended up with most of their saliva on his face n hands. lolx. we videod it down... its gonna be a classic.

service learning is over, but its more than service learning to me. its more like a part time child care teacher kinda job, i totally understand the difficulties of being a teacher. having to deal with little fights, quarrels , arugment, ostracising , noise etc among the children. i wouldnt mind doing it again. n the length of this entry probably shows how deep an impact it has left on me.

well , i'm stopping here! merry christmas guys ... go! neptune!

2005-12-11T12:12:00.000+08:00

hey, i'm 17. took such a long time time to reach this age... ha. had a simple birthday doing simple things, but its still a nice birthday afterall. i had the biggest birthday present in my life! a mahjong table -_-" thx to bgang. also received lotsa of birthday smses , wishes... thx guys.

like wat i said be4, this holidays still lack something... something tt could spark it up. where do i find it ?? hmmm ...

u remembered ...

2005-11-30T18:30:00.000+08:00

i saw some of our bp ppl going prom juz now. ahhh... made me feel so sua gu. i've nv been to one! wat a waste... it would be so much fun i guess. anyway, they all looked real smart in their collar shirts and leather shoes, all dressed up for the prom king title! a pity i din see any girls, i bet they will looked equally nice as well. subconsiously or not... she came to my mind. i put my life as stake tt she'll have the most beautiful dress tonight. suddenly , i yearned to see her. i tot to myself, mayb i can juz sit down there under my block, wait for tons of 190 to go passed, i might be lucky enough to catch a few glimpses. how silly tt would be... many other tots flashed thru as well.

it all became apparent, ******** . . . nth else.

2005-11-18T19:30:00.000+08:00

today i went to play mahjong at alison's place. after many encounters of losing, i finally won today. see, told u it was the bad feng shui at my house. i'll probably need to ban any further such activities at my place! before tt, i had training , so i took 853 , 171 n finally 190 to his place. travelling there, the long brick red stairs still has tt little tinge' of familiar scent. the now under renovation shelter, too, feels the same. hhaa... some things are so deeply entrenched inside, the 'feeling' juz wont go away.

tt aside, training is in the midst of the more intensive period le. so far v manageable , the frequent fitness has made me feel fitter as well. mayb my stamina still has room for improvement but i feel in terms of body conditioning wise, this is the best i've ever came to. hopefully , everything will carry on to improve n turn out fine, n my ankle will be able to hold on till after the tournament~ the team is shaping up well too, suddenly this has given me hope to put more effort into the team. i need to improve more... i wan to shoulder more responsibility when the team is playing, penalties ? freekick ?? corners ??? i wan it all ... the goal of a top 4 finish doesnt seems as far fetched as my initial intuition tells me so. we are not there yet, but within touching length. we can go the distance... we juz need the strength up there... its all in the mind.

anyway, i went for a leg massage yesterday , sort of to relieve the strain my leg foot has been experiencing. its good, v relaxing n it helps to relieve the strain. its abit ex... $25 bucks for about 30-40 mins, but its ok to pamper once in a while. i should go there more often ...lolx.

tml is sat again, finest day of the week ! in my schedule, saturday should be renamed soccerday. i'm having trng in the morning , after which is the usual soccer at chee's place in the afternoon, then at night we'll catch epl at yun's house n finally tml there's real madrid vs barcelona at 3am. wat a soccer packed day... but once sunday comes, its a long wait till the next "soccerday" again.

other than soccer n dota, nth interesting is going on in my life right now. probably i'll need a bit of spark to cap off a beautiful hols which until now, it isnt. i'm stopping here, (i have nth much to recap bout anyway) till then... tata.

2005-11-06T11:15:00.000+08:00

the sun has been baking my skin, n my leg's taking the toll. too much intensive soccer over the past few days has caused my body to ache real bad. i'll juz take a break today n hopefully it will cease tml. juz realised i've became more competitive, be it for good or bad. mayb tts what i really need now ... n probably tt explains my mood, getting irritated by the slightest stuff. saturday still remains the best day of the week, the hours spent at yun's house nv fails to entertain. highlight of yesterday, "yishin's *toot* experience at eastcoast" haha, tt was really funny. something's still missing though... holiday is seldom this way.

2005-10-30T09:55:00.000+08:00

i saw a kid ard 3-4 years old on the bus who was misbehaving. jumping ard and making alot of noise. the Dad of the kid, spanked her. she cried and ran to her mum who was sitting a few seats behind. " mummy mummy, daddy hit me. hit him back... hit him back!" she continued wailing awy. at tt moment i was thinking , how naughty can this child be. she was such a cute child, rounds eyes, bubbly cheek. but her action spoiled everything.

5 mins later, after all the wailing subsided, she was smiling again. to my surprised, she ran to her Dad and started playing ard with him again. it is so true tt children are the purest, who bears no grudges at all. it was quite a heart waming sight. it occured to me tt when a person grows up, this type of forgiveness and purity no longer exists. its everyone for themselves in this world out there.

holiday started for me. even though there's gonna be pw for a few more days, it still represent a slping chance for me. i'm deadbeat. all because of a game dota! its a nice game, but overly addicted is no gd. shall start refraining once op ended. training gonna start its intensive sessions soon. the passion is fading awy.....

ystday as usual went to play soccer. it was always nice la... enjoyed myself. got so many stupid moments like alan scoring tt "stupendous" own goal and my leg getting stuck underneath the fence! but i have a feeling my leg is giving way soon. i rented 2 vcds again... a chance to catch up on some shows i was dying to watch. n my dumb man u lost again!! grRr.... its so what-the-hell-are-u-guys-doing .

2005-10-14T22:15:00.000+08:00

i got back my results... absolutely pleasing, juz like a gift made in heaven for me. for a few weeks, i mug my head off juz for these papers. the effort i put in far surpasses that of o level lo. mayb thats why the fruits of these labour taste exceptionally sweet.

much to my surprise, i got an A- for maths! ( ok, actually is 69 la, 1 mark lower than A, which is a B but A- sounds nicer ma) the biggest scandal was, i top class for chemistry. i scored 79, highest score i got for quite some time. my chem ST had tt stunned look on her face, my classmates too. hopefully i can get the improvement award again ?? from F to B , from E to A , this surely is no mean feat. i guess this is another case of an underdog success story. at least my effort paid off... i'm glad.

i haven gotten back my physics n gp but at least this 2 sub which i worked so much on din fail me. n i did not disappoint ms eu , ms soh (my chem st), mr phang (my maths st). especially ang (my maths tutor) whom had such high hopes on me. wateva i get for physics n gp will juz be bonus. complacency is something i would stirr clear of, this will juz be a stepping stone to the final pedestal.

several of my friends, are hanging on the edge with 3 O's , wish we can all get promoted together. sad to see them studying so hard n yet fare badly. sometimes it juz isnt fair. i would exchange 10 marks of mine to help them.

2005-10-09T10:30:00.000+08:00

yeah, finally exam's over but life still not looking up either. kinda dreaded school for things to come which i dunno what and why. just had this sudden feeling of stopping everything , do things that i probably would like. i'm getting back results next week ... first time that i ever had this high risk of repeating. i think i definitely dun deserved to be retained considering the amount of work i've put in (bar physics) but exams all bout luck anyway. shucks...

nonetheless , these few days have been fun n relaxing for me after a tiring week of papers. training resuming soon i guess , so freedom is not a word found in my dictionary. hopefully returning to a simple life of books and balls will make time go faster ?

watched 40 year old virgin (M18) ! sneaking in was fun ... i think they have a system simply too penetrable but i choose not to name which cinema. the show was alright , pretty funny at certain scenes , but it was the ridiculous laughing of the audience that made the atmosphere more "comedic". of coz there are also scenes which suggests why its M18 =Pp would i be another 40 year old virgin ?? hahaz...(apparently not though)

going out for shopping later, hopefully , can set my sights on some shoes clothes or wateva. going to fill up my closet even more which means the opposite for my wallet. queensway will be a nice place to go for my soocer boots~! hopefully this time they have wat i want , unlike the other times. life's that much easier to lead without studies . . .

2005-09-19T23:43:00.000+08:00

ystday was lantern festival, wat does it mean to u ?? it sure doesnt mean as much to me anymore . . . not as much as before when things werent the same as now. when things are going well... everything is beautiful ...

remember the candles, remember the words... remember tt person ... at tt v right moment.

no double for anything . . .

2005-09-09T01:30:00.000+08:00

sometimes it is gd to just take urself out of this world , daze n indulge in the excessiveness of the past. the past few late nights has prob given me the chance to do so. it's not the best feeling in the world but it juz feels gd to be doing nth, juz slouch on the couch n think.

i took a long long journey back . . . back to when i was young , a real addict of cartoons. back to primary sch days, the kid that always gets into trouble. back to the first day in bp, my first meeting on v'day with yilin (with complications) , my first few recesses with yuhao awkwardly, my first bp soccer jersey, the cheering com , the first day of sec 2 eagerly awaiting the new batch of sec 1s, the first time i saw her at the bus interchange n the days, the wearing of long pants to sch , provoking my girl next door sherelynn daily, being a "detective" with oon they all , lam soon challenge and even the takin of bus 190. a long long list of how everything n everyone took their place in my life. certain things that use to be so "big" then , has slowly lost its significance now. things change ever so quickly.

it isnt the most perfect , but i think its also wat tt makes my life the way it is. people n events shaped my life , n probably to a certain extent , they still do. looking back this way , is juz like another of tiger's lesson history. u learn wat was done, wat could be done n wat should have been done. given a chance alot of things wont be done the way it is n certain things wont be allowed to happen but this is IF given a chance . . .

anyway i'm back into the matrix of reality , the ominous forthcoming of the promos ... sets me back on my revision again. hoping the next time i look back , this period of time would be categorised under "well done".

think is powerful word . . .

2005-09-03T10:40:00.000+08:00

teachers' day , the night before some of them came over to my place to stay n play mahjong over night which was so energy sapping! yishin was as cocky as ever, but its fun to have them staying over. then morning went back TOO early for the teacher's day concert. it was boring , with a capital B. din really look for any teachers also, hmmm, mayb i wasn't really there for teacher's day ??

anyway after tt we went lamsoon, it was sorching hot. the last time i played in such heat was like almost 10-11 mths ago! how times flies ah ? got an unfamiliar feeling to this court already but memories still poured in. we ending the challenge ard 1+ , eat lunch, loiter at lot 1 n went hy house. --mayb i'm not meant to see those things myself, up till now, not even once have i witnessed it . but i guess its good too.

ystday i had a forum in sch. as usual , aj ppl always complaining bout our muggerified culture. is tt our fault to blame ? dun really care wat other ppl think anyway, its the mindset which need to be changed of them not ours. i always wondered if RJC has our uniform, would anyone say its ugly ?? hahaz, dun think so right ? but thats not the main point, my principal said about how other sch has such high sch spirit , every now and then breaking in cheers , and everytime they have any sch event , the cheers comes about unlike my sch now.

bp came in my mind, suddenly felt a sense of pride inside me. i think we truely have our own spirit there. our v own noisy, whacky but ever so morale boosting BP cheer, the "YOz check it out" tt will get the whole sch cheering in unison( the kind of feeling tt sends ur adrenalin pumping ever so high ). it wasn't coincidental tt we practically cheered tt cheer after wateva things we had, even after assembly in the hall ! right soonkeng ?? haha... it brought back all the times we got into trouble with the over doing of the cheer. but because we love it ... tts our culture. our own bp spirit. which, sadly, something aj does lack now.

2005-08-20T07:58:00.000+08:00

ystday had our first friendly for the j1 squad against rjc. they didn't have their full team, i guess only 4-5 (including arvind, nice to see him) were in the team. we won 5-3 , i scored a hat-trick, but i'm still not happy. somehow, i knew it wont be this easy against other schs, or even a full strength rjc n yet we conceded 3 goals. i wasn't exactly pleased with my performance, not as dominating as i hope it would be. i'm a perfectionist in a game n ystday was no where near perfect. we still need alot of shaping up to do , this is a squad with potential. if everyone can stay n train hard, we have a shot. i'm glad we have a good keeper too. i really wan to win... n the moment i saw adib fell n sreaming, clutching his knees, it juz hit me so hard, are we capable without him? v unlikely, praying hard he's fine.

promos coming , work hard... days isnt as nice as be4.

2005-08-08T03:30:00.000+08:00

still recovering from the dizzyness of my slp. so fast , a week has gone. isnt the best week i have, but i think more of these "weeks" are going to come. lost all hopes and motivation again, climbing back up this time is going to be difficult.

broke a florescent lamp at chee's condo court ystday , still sore bout tt(some things said werent v pleasant either). felt like i lost the touch of things, movements not as fluid as before . cannot let this carry on ah... i wan a medal next yr. i gotta change my style of playing. lost abit of my cool again. at night, mafia was fun, but too much will harm the harmony between us ah , haha. their discussion getting more heated.

tml marks the start of the short holiday , gonna do some studying, dun wan to let mr woo down even though physics is a goner for me. guess, some playing time is allowed too. wonder hows the celebration gonna be like tml ?? i'm in charge of games... -_-"

my legs hasn't been acting up recently thanks to the ankle guard, hopefully that tendon will be ready for the rigors once the real training starts.

"i'm still here, i juz cant find the courage to talk u again." blink ?

2005-07-29T17:25:00.000+08:00

i'm not supposed to be home but i'm home. i'm not supposed to be feeling this way but i am. i'm supposed to be flying, but i'm crashing. its not supposed to be turn out like this n it is. its not easy to be me ...

its supposed to continue . . . . . . for one more day.

2005-07-24T14:25:00.000+08:00

ahhh . . . i tried to curb it , but i snapped again. saying sorry is no point if there aint actions to back it up. i'm such a sore loser. sry to cow n peng . . . this sucks. next week , no more eruptions , no more blowing my top. juz smile fun n laughters =)

life is so fan. sometimes i just wanna quit .

2005-07-21T20:27:00.000+08:00

i'm not supposed to play for 2 mths, i din listen. i hurt my right ankle again last sat n this morning it sprained. its turning out to be something far worse than wat the doc said. it felt loose, as though it might give way anytime.

all i wan is . . . 1 more day

2005-07-17T12:50:00.000+08:00

ystday had soccer in the afternoon , i snapped again for like so many weeks. sry cow, sry pi , sry song , sry py, everybody la. i think if i cannot curb my temper, i shouldn't play next time la. power is nth without control.

had bp 45th anniversary dinner. met with the rest of bgang then go together. hahaz, first time we appear so formal. some of them looked really diff n nice la. walking back the long stretch of road is always nice. its filled with so much memories. even the 7 eleven is just like our own "bp " mama shop not forgetting our home lamsoon. then once everything settled , got to see some really old friends, sherelynn la , hew la , bugger la , yilin la, oon etc . felt so warm deep down. the air on our botak field still smells the same , like home.

its wasnt about the food ystday(cos it sucks ), it isnt bout sm goh , it isn't about the glamour, its about the reunion of the bpians whom we spend so much fun time with. i sang the bp song with so much pride for the first time , i bet all of them did. i cheered the bp cheer with memories flashing thru. our court yard was also ever so familiar. i miss the place we had so much fun. when our lives was about having fun , not like now. all the daily "peeping" activities, it still sounds so exciting to me . after ystday , when will i get to see all of them again ?? its like a dream come true for tt short 4-5 hrs , now we're back to reality, i dun wan to wake up, i dun wan to , i wan my life back ...

i was also looking forward to see her. i did , i was glad, v glad, but is it the best thing for me now ? the feeling all came rushing back to me . she still look just as beautiful. i plucked all my courage to take pics with her ( juz realised i've nv taken any pics with her be4) i'll keep this well. she has grown taller le , haha. i've nv been so much happier than ystday for the past 6 mths. it sure is a beautiful night.

but i'm having the hangover now. dunno how to explain. it sucks ... can the time just stop when i'm in the canteen ! i dun wan her to disappear in my life as time goes on ... i know my dream will come to an end, nv come true.

bpian forever , yo check it out !

2005-07-08T19:15:00.000+08:00

thoughts rushed thru my mind on the second day i hit home before the the sun is even down. wat am i running away from ? wat am i avoiding ? wat do i wan ? i dunno . . . i'm lost AGAIN.

watched "remember the titans" juz now. truely inspiring. it made me feel the feeling all over again. that glimmer of hope, that brought all the desire in me to want to succeed. it was gone weeks after season ended, its back now. rightfully so, training's starting soon. i want to win , badly. i looked back all my life n asked myself wat have i succeeded , wat great things have i done ? one word . . . nth. i dun wan my 8-9 years of school career to end up empty handed, proving my worth only at the small courts i frequent. i wan to play like i know i can on the big stage, to deliver. i understand how the j2s felt this year, they had the burning desire to win. i juz didn't have the hunger to match my ambition, i doubted my own ability. i was scared when serangoon scored the first goal, i was shaking after i missed the freak shot. but i feel this is the time , probably the last season representing any sch. i wan to breathe the air , right there , down on the grass, standing on the pitch , playing in the national stadium. its a dream... tt probably would nv come true.

"i am not perfect , i nv will be, but when we start playing for our goals, our beliefs, as one team, we are perfect. lets make sure everyone remembers the day they played us, forever."

2005-07-01T18:03:00.000+08:00

as quickly as the hols ended, my tests are over too! they are tough but which test isn't hard ??i'll be glad if i can pass them all. at least tts wat i aim la. hahaz, i think physics is a goner, was in the playing mood tt night already and cant help but watch the finals between brazil & argentina.

now tt the tests are over, feels so gd to be home n slacking awy. had everything planned out for the weekend already. ystday rented a few vcds ystday n i'm left with constantine now ... quite a nice day so far. juz came back from a jog, been so long since i last had some sort of exercise. ahh... nice air =) n looking forward tml , also have been quite some time since i last kicked a ball into a net, boon should be joining us, so is bingxian n vball gang. the pros are here! lets streetball `! having bbq too , so shouldn't be so bad la.

as for sun n mon , find sometime for "studying" at my house again ? anyone ? haha ...

memories come n go , now they're here to stop again.

*love life*

2005-06-24T08:48:00.000+08:00

holidays' coming to an end pretty soon. still pretty much stucked in the midst of my revision, occasionally stealing lots of time to play. like today, they're coming over to "play". its really tougher now in jc, can see the poly ppl enjoying themselves more than us. mayb tts the price for the short 2 yrs. i'm always the last min kind of person, so i probably wont press the panic button if indeed i totally screw up my (like wat innova calls it) summer tests. haha...

anyway, some small things. i've got my much awaited new com which looks pretty nice, but i guessed it will be in the same state as its predecessor in no time. hopefully this one will win the battle against all the spywares, viruses , errors msg tt my sis n i absolutely loves to attract. =/

haven been doing much lately. nth's much happened except tt we went to watch premonition. haha, would prefer batman to this la. but they dun wish to give batman a change lehz, so sad lo. nvm, a few more movies up which seems nice, "alot like love", " initial D"... anyone ?

i supposed i'm making a trip to the doctor next week after my tests if i actually will make the effort to. my left leg is worsening now. the prediction not as accurate le , but its abit hindering my movements at times. better go get it checked. n all sorts of sickness is looking me up le la, all t he coughs , flu , headache. ah... fever is on the cards.

it wun be too soon till i update again. so make do with it ya ? haha...

rewind the tape of life , i will . . .

2005-06-12T01:06:00.000+08:00

seriously wan to write something but nth's coming out of my skull. only 1 or 2 incidents here n there. nvm i'll juz blog another day. hols left with 2 weeks only, destesting every single bit of revision n pw ... grR.

soccer is my best buddy/gf/companion/soulmate now. its the only thing tt can make me happy, nth else. its only when i'm with a ball tt i feel free... the kind of calmness i experience when unleashing a shot is also like nv be4. nth feels exactly like it .

the pentagon has dismantled, to form 2 lines on its own. it will nv be the same again.

2005-06-05T01:42:00.000+08:00

adidas pulse dragon

2005-06-05T01:33:00.000+08:00

i'm back from AB camp, survived it throughout the tiring 5 days. come to think of it now, its nice la. it was really a boot camp in there, everything so regimental , bunks checking , standardisation , movements n things. kinda memorable , had an interesting time inside the camp. got to know more ppl , more friends , some instructors n went through all the nice activities. learnt quite a few thigns in the camp as well... leadership. definitely hope it comes in handy for soccer next time, i'm so dying to win something. teh (x 11) aj !!

so fast 1 week of the hols past le, still got lots to study for my mid yr exams. hai , dun wan study la! totally not in the mood man.

today went to play at chee's house again. think i really failed anger management today. lost my cool at times i would normally have surpressed. i am really a sore loser lo, juz dun like to lose. especially when i put in so much effort n we lost coz of a stupid mistake. i dun mind losing at times ,but not in this way. was really sorry to sh, alan, pi pi , lao sai , dex , ah sai, chee , and a few others la. hope u all put it behind. actually u all should know the way i am le, i'll try to do better next time. dunno if i'm purely tired or wat, mood wasn't in the right shape to handle frustration n disappointment.

oh n i saw a pair of damn nice boots la! adidas predator pulse 2 dragon! wah , silver n white , equisite design , love it man. its not out yet n its gonna cost $300 -_-" but trust me it damn nice. saw so many things tt i like ... wan to save up for tt DC white/grey skater shoes , adidas original green flip flops, mambo pencil case, adidas training kit ... the list goes on. i need $$$ la... broke now lo. i also got the craving for movie marathon, wan watch madagascar n kingdom of heavens la. out so long liaoz i still haven watch... gRr...

impossible ? i know i know. just tot u were the one. but u are , i'm not.

2005-05-30T05:44:00.000+08:00

saturday
got the seven aside tournament in sch against some sec sch. at first everything started well, i scored a nice header goal (my maiden header goal) n the everyone was focus n stuff. after tt everything seems so messy ... grR. my miscommunication with yen hao meant i swinged my leg straight at his leg n he had swollen heel n me a swollen ankle =/ i also started to get really bad tempered but i guess tts me when i'm playing. i din played too well either.. but who cares. after tt , due to the swollen ankle i decided to go queensway inside of chee's house. went walk ard lo , bought some stuff for my ab camp on mon. ended the day on a high note.

sunday
ystday juz had a farewell lunch for wans who will be leaving for 1 month. take care wans... the 7 of us (without adib) went swensens' for lunch. after tt juz walk ard and some went to catch monster-in-law. its a pretty hilarious n the first show i've watched in months, so yeah , it felt nice.

then now i'm blogging like, mins be4 i leave for camp. dreading it like ever be4. got so much stuff to bring. its gonna be one hell of a week. 5 days also long time la... no hp no com. cut off all connections with the world ah. then wan also going for soooooo long, 1 whole month tt is. its gonna be so long be4 she comes back. hmmm, better go prepare le, wun wan to be late with patrick lim n clement cheng as camp commanders. take care everyone... especially.

things have settled, but it still isn't looking up for me. would u miss me like i do ?

2005-05-22T02:19:00.000+08:00

we dun always get wat we wan ... but sometimes in life u know u really wished to have tt. so how ?? its juz a look n i know its not meant to be mine ... i'm outta it. can only admire from afar.. nowhere near. i've been struggling with myself, will u be there to release the struggle?

u say i dunno ur pain , i know and mayb a few times more... but who is there for me ?? loneliness is my friend, emptiness is my pal , helplessnesss is my soul. wat am i supposed to do ? got no where to run , got no where to hide.

*i'm not the one, ur heart is missing*

2005-05-14T09:51:00.000+08:00

so long nv write again le, juz doesn't have the mood to update so often like last time. hai, wasn't a v nice week , n definitely a terrible end to the week. referring to friday the 13th tt is ... nv used to believe tt little unlucky myth, but mayb i juz had the chance to withness its power. everything juz got screwed up that day.

din go for the sg's cricket club thing for trial, was lazy to do so .. also dunno wan anotz, not exactly a v lucrative club but mayb this is the level where i should expose myself to to improve myself n hope next yr aj wun be knocked out so fast again. my maths common test was alaso like shit too la, dunno y i tuition for, still feel so conked out in the test. guess i'll do badly again la...grR. lagging behind in tutorials again ...

then ystday alot of things happened. like mass depression ... one by one all become so sad. supposed to be a nice outing at town de. then the whole "pentagon" thing started to sets in ... after go home worse.. bombarded by reality. i hopes she's ok , must have been damn sad. all of us reach home le , she's still out alone at her house's playground. argh... dun hurt urself. its a nv ending pentagon , when all ends meet, we're going in circles.

u dun know that , when u tears , ppl get hurt.

2005-05-04T20:16:00.000+08:00

hey! here i am again! yay* this week so far has been v fulfilling for me ~ mon was public holiday , got nowhere to go also so i went with boon n his two other friends to do hw. well , not exactly as productive as a 6 hours studying time should be but i still managed to complete like 3 tutorials which is gd. then we go cut hair together also... ya, felt so relaxed after the work done...

hmmm, then back to ystday , went for recre . played at the hockey D , n boy it was fun ! every team only the girls can score , so its like a crazy hectic havoc kinda match la, but my team got 3 girls ma , then we kept winning. me boon qiu hong jolene plus fiona~ winning team formula. she wasn't on my team la , but still fun la. heez... slide once against the rubber top , alamak. abrasion ! hurts sia...

then today was wanling's birthday , went with them to eat marche. they damn crappy la. we felt abit left out at first la , but slowly slowly blend in together with them. watching the way they behaved n talk , i was thinking, mayb if i had gone to an all guys sch i would be a diff me ? most of the girls there today were from girls sch la , they are just so outgoing n friendly n stuff quite diff from a co-ed sch girl. they are v "themselves" with a unique identity. their sch culture also v much diff from us... can say they are more matured thinking than most of us. yeah, but my sec sch friends still rocks la!

tml also going down for soccer again. thankfully got all these recre tt has been keeping me bz , otherwise the post tournament elimination wouldn't have been gotten over so quickly. this sat also cant go play with bachelor they all le, got the soccer 7 aside tournament organised by the singapore cricket club , played at padang. sounds rather fun to me ah~ hope we can get some consolation from here ! =) hmmm, ok la, abit tired le, go take a rest liaoz! take care all! ...

2005-05-01T03:53:00.000+08:00

ah, our vball team din go into semis, heard its the first time in 8 yrs they din get into finals, wat amazing statistics. soccer would be glad to go to sec round, hahaz, diff standard , diff expectation. whole sch like sank into mini depression , we had so much hopes for vball but nvm nth we say would make them feel better juz like how i felt .

n we juz had our sports day like 2 days ago ? ahahz, pretty fun. the highlight was the cheerleading part , it was really great! especially the jaguar house ppl though they din win~ my house cougar de , hahaz, sad to say its the lousiest but i think they enjoyed the process . saw jaguar girls crying when they nv win. they put in alot of effort lo, stayed back everyday for practice n got some scandals n stuff but overall v well done!

then ystday had a v long day , went for the aj idol. had a damn tiring lesson in the morning . then afternoon go find lp accompany her for the afternoon since both of us got nth to do. she's damn crapping, fun girl =) after tt go play soccer at hockey D awhile n we went to aj idol together. well, the finals performance din disappoint us la, it was gd seriously! especially caryn ( not sure of spelling) n hazlami , top class singers no doubt. i was abit tired so wasn't quite in the same wavelength as the atmosphere ard me. but i enjoyed my self .

the ending to the day wasn't as beautiful as how it had went, but its still a v v v nice day for me. thx! later going to play soccer with them le, can finally play to my hearts' content as i'm out of the tournament ~duh. tts all i'm writing ba, hope my sch bball can win n snatch some glory back for us! bb! cya guys...

stepping stone or tripping stone ??

2005-04-28T13:31:00.000+08:00

hey, its so darn long since i last updated. well, still nth nice to update, we are out of the competition, mostly thx to a stupid miss from me. tt is something i wun forgive myself. ya, the team is sad n so am i but wat can we do ? hmmm... now i'll be so free without cca , juz not the same anymore. the disappointment is everywhere when i look at the faces of my team mates... hai. next yr will be my yr man ! this sat having the combined sch trials, my capt ask me go, but i feel i'm not ready yet, so dun think i'm going ba. wish them gd luck!

hmmm, also nth much la. one or two bright sparks in my life... enough to keep me perked up for sch everyday. when u have an aim , everything seems to take a much clearer path. at least i'm not tt aimless boy living in the empty world anymore. =) slut face ~ =Pp

2005-04-17T12:41:00.000+08:00

heyaz! back after a long week , wasn't an excellent week actually. well most significantly, the tournament start le... wasn't a great start la. we lost 5-3 to tampines =( we din play badly , in fact we played well, but individuals mistakes cost us the game. juz 4 silly mistakes n we gifted them 4 goals. hai ... everyone was pretty sad la, coz if we won the game, our chance of going thru is higher, but theres still hope n we are not giving up yet.

the homely feeling the sch gave was great, everyone was like wishing us gd luck , teachers asking us if we can win n tt we must try to win , even the cleaner auntie also say in hokkien " go kick ball ah ? better win come back ah ! " first time i ever received so much support, juz feel sort of touched la. sadly we din come back victorious, but still the team is full of hope ~! the j2 n zhong ah , all filled with hunger to succeed in their last tournament. their morale like drop a level or two after the first game. pity zhong la, he gave so much for the team, the worst we could do to repay him is get us knocked out in the first round. so we must all buck up, think of zhong who has been doing all the tedious work a capt have to do , the msging, the administrative stuffs, n the consistent performance + 100 % commitment n focus for all matches n training. he is the role model, n i really would like to help him get a medal. but of coz, we have to get past the 1st round, we have to fight to win , be it for the sch , for the coach , for ourself, for the team or for zhong. we have a common goal ~to the finals tt is going to be held at jalan besar ! we'll be there *

sch has been fun, with some sort of motivation ard. another cycle of happiness, disappointment, excitement , basically all sorts of emotions involved. i hope it ends the way i hope it would . . . *never will be mine*

2005-04-10T13:44:00.000+08:00

ah... today had the soccer camp. 8am-7pm... its was quite a gd day la, everything went well , the coach was happy , the day was fun . then 4 pm we played a match. i started as lone striker , its sux playing alone up there. then into the 20th min i suffered a cruciating tackle straight into my left knee..~ gRr, it was damn painful la, couldn't get up at all. now swell up alittle , cant even walk straight. hopes it recover juz in time for the first game ah~ damn injury prone now... sian 1/2 . din managed to kiss the yellow band ... wasted.

dun wan write liaoz, go watch match. tml going for my first maths tution... must buck up ah , make my maths one of my best subject again! ... ya, gd nite peepz!

petite, sweet n everything nice . . .

2005-04-07T11:22:00.000+08:00

i so darn long nv update le horz, got so many things to write but lazy to come update. dun think i can remember everything...

yeap, got my new uniform le, grey n navy blue ... looks pretty ok. gonna miss the red stripe ah, wun be wearing tt uniform le i'm sure. at first wasn't quite used to it , but guess time can change everything. the tie was nice though... certainly better than bp de. got a belt too, some plastic folders n stuff for sch... keychain for my key after alan mok squash them flat~ ah! still need a pencil box ! *hint*

eh, wat else ah ? oh ya, lacking behind alot with my work ah,muz work catch up liaoz. cannot fall aslp during lectures tt often n cannot slack at home le~ but sometimes when u are really into the learning, it can be quite fun.

wan go queensway shop shop lehz, feel like getting some shoes or boots or mayb some tops. then we(b gang) all also getting our own jersey liaoz, hahaz, would be damn stupid if we wear it out together... but nvm, as a form of keepsake la.

ah, i cut hair liaoz also. after keeping it long for so long, well the reason behind the keeping of hairs means nth le anyway. cut ah ! next week my tournament also start le, n today training whole team juz got blasted by coach n he left half way. hai ya, morale damn low now. we did our own training n finally i got the correct technique of shooting. it kinda funny how i've been shooting wrongly for the past 7-8 years -.-" i finally got it right =) hope it helps for the tournament. n we also got a black jersey for the tournament ... unique horz like the new zealand all blacks.

ah ya, wat else ah ... guess nth much le . tml got girls recre lo, i'm going down to see see... hehex. ok la, go eat my dinner le. nice seeing my tag board full of msges~! n no one would be extra there de la *^_^* dunno when will i blog again. but till then... tatA!

2005-03-29T06:06:00.000+08:00

gRr... my fever is back. gd thing is , i got 2 days mc . home sweet home for the next two days =) doctors nowadays are so ...... i went to one doc at 12 ++ am n the consultation fee for tt period of time is $58 ! -.- obviously i went awy... then the next morning i went to another doc, opening hour is 8.30, he came 1 hr later. one extortion the other irresponsible.

btw ah, who is the zoologist ?? nice try ... =Pp will u care ?

2005-03-28T00:26:00.000+08:00

dear diary!

ystday was a long day lo, started the day at 7am ended at 2 pm... morning i had training , og thru some drills n stuffs, played 2 sides. think coach unhappy with some of their under par peformance, hope the current squad stays la. after training got the monthly player of the month award, jan was zhong n feb was nizar ... *tada* i won the award for march! quite a surprise, a pleasant one. i'm working in the right direction lo...

after tt went lam soon play with hy n siu kwok they all. had a great day of soccer lo, nv lost to any of the three teams there.... but the rain spoilt the fun. so we head to lot 1 to look for b'dae gifts for yk, pi , bug n ah sai. bought a che guevarra shirt for pi, an england shirt for yk, a keeper's towel for ah sai, n a lousy cheapo baleno shirt for bugger ( coz he always pang seh us one ) got a chocolate cake from polar n a small hello kitty cake specially for pi pi (tts alison's idea) sang them birthday song n stuff, guess they all enjoyed the belated birthday celebration. wasn't a big one but a celebration with best wishes from us.

after cake cutting , they go play mahjong lo... actually 12 supposed to go de, all bad gamblers, play until 1+ . alan lost the most la, hahaaz, pi pi n ah sai won the most lo. woodlands gang again... when i reach home already 1.40am le, wash up everything n online , till like 2 am , then went to bed. v v tired indeed.

v v soon , the week will start, mayb i will blog less, mayb i will online less often liaoz..~ well cya till next time! tatA~!

2005-03-24T12:15:00.000+08:00

dear diary!!

today officially first day of sch liaoz. no more play play ard , time to get serious with work when it comes. wenhao wasn't there to go sch with me this morning, kinda not used to it , hope he comes back aj la~ orientation was abit sian , sat thru the 5 hrs talk in the audi, went to have lunch n head for training le lo. ah ya, this orientation abit no meaning, pon also nvm. og ppl all from my class lo... totally lost its meaning. had such high hopes for this second intake but still NO eye candy... ... at all. sad sad sad ~ hahaz =Pp

i dunno wats between me n big eyes tt i juz get so attracted to them. especially those big round eyes, clear outlines, long curly lashes, watery bright eyes... hahaz, sounds too nice to be true ? but there are ppl who has them... juz so beautifully created ~ catches n throws me off my feet with those electricfying stints. a sec is all it needs to mesmerise... like urs

2005-03-20T23:42:00.000+08:00

dear diary,

yeah, i'm back from malacca, bet not many of u know i went. had a great time, but my fever threatened to spoil everything. it hasn't gone yet.

first day went to sch early in the morning, took a super long bus ride all the way to malacca. when we reach there, we ate at a famous peranakan restaurant. the food were all spicy which i din eat much too coz of my fever. it was nice anyway. after tt , we head to our hotel, the emperor hotel , a budget 3 star hotel , unpack everything n had a short rest. ard 5 like tt we set off for "henry gurney" malacca's young juvenile prison. they were all botak n looked kinda scary, but they were nice la, we also had a great game. we won 6-0. i din play , wasn't allowed to play coz of my fever. watch from sidelines so sian....

second day morning we took our breakfast le, then had a training session with Mr Raju, an ex malaysian international. he's v experienced, taught us quite a few things. even my coach kumar also learnt somthing from him. after the session we went back hotel, bath n went to Mahkota parade to shop. its quite huge, but not much things to shop also. bought a tee for my self n some souvenirs lo. i also got a necklace sort of chain from a roadside hawker, its called the "dream patcher". looks pretty unique to me..i got tt too. we only have like 2 hr to shop coz we having a night game tt day. all of us quite excited, none played at night be4, further more its at a stadium.
the stadium didn't quite match our expectation but its still a field with 4 big flood lights and bout 60-70 spectators. we even had linesman for the first time in my life. we were playing against their malacca club side, our sleague equivalent. we lost 5-1 but i had my best game for aj but my fever shot up after the game pretty badly. in the afternoon we filmed our own "kelme" freestyle outside our rooms corridor as the whole level is ours. had so many Ngs n stuffs... also had streaker. it was fun... olE! if possible i'll post the clip up here ~

day three, we din do much la, had some sight seeing n check out. went for a small buffet for our lunch n headed to the bee museum or something one. showed us all kinds of bees n honey. we even got to try the top grade honey. it was ncie but ex too la... after which we started our long journey back home!

tired after this three days... end of this trip also means sch reopening liaoz, tts damn fast n damn sian. no mood for sch ... ok la, end here liaoz. have a nice day peepz~ dream patcher, to patch our dreams together...

2005-03-07T15:42:00.000+08:00

* Ted, was a 60 years old man who, had everything from career to status to wealth in life, but he had nothing in his love life. It was not because he wasn't charming enough back then. it was rather he could not get over the high school love of his. At the dying moments of his life, he recalled the times .... *

It all began decades ago. I saw this girl on my way to school. It was the first time I saw her, n she melts my heart at that very instant. She has such gorgeous features, black silky hair , flawless complexion, sweet smile , cute little dimple n a pair of the most beautiful eyes God created. She was like a fairy in the middle of all the mortals. I was glancing over at her in the subway, n everytime our eyes meet... I froze. I could feel my face turn red, literally.

She was by the far the most charismatic lady in Abraham lincoln high school where i was studying at. We weren't close, but at least we knew each other existed. Seeing her in school everyday sends my adrenalin pumping high, makes my heart skip a beat, n leaves me trailing in the wake of her backview. If her life was a play , I was only the redundant backstage crew. She never did know how I felt for her.

Then, came a twist. She came up to me one day "Hey ted, was it you at the subway i saw this morning ? " I might have appeared cool n calm but underneath, I was going beserked with joy. it was simple line but at least that shows she noticed me. Slowly things started to get better as we started interacting more often and grew closer. Of course, I fell deeper in love with her ~

I had this flame of hope burning inside me, wishing to be with her. I wonder does she feels likewise ? Doubt so... I reminded myself, maybe I shouldn't be greedy, from total strangers to where we are now, I should be contented. Still, I tried to drop hints everytime I had a chance, I don't know if she got it. (an idiot would have gotten it , those were obvious hints)

Then came out of nowhere the sucker punch when she asked me one night " if I were to have a boyfriend, would u treat me just as nice ? " I didn't have time to response or control my tears, it just flowed. My whole world collapsed on me... I told her " I will ~ " it wasn't a lie yet it hurts. Cant bear the thought of her in another guy's arm. A few weeks later , she sets off for Europe. Things changed since her return, we drifted apart. We were never like before again ...

she seems to be leading a happy life. I can only look at her from afar, trying hard every morning
to catch the same train as her at the subway, catch glimpses of her during tea time. A smile from her would sent my heart racing fast, but I know she's out of my reach. I've seen her out before with the "homosapian", she looked really blessed with love. Some nights I would look into the glittering sky, pray to God, thinking of my angel. Each time, the stars flickled as though they knew what I was going through... (adapted "My Angel, without wings " by George k korver )

To Be Continued ...

2005-03-03T14:47:00.000+08:00

its been 2 days since our results, life has started to go on again. morning went to lamsoon with them, following which i went back to aj for my friendly against nyjc. we played quite well, but juz couldn't score. at least everyone is pleased with the performance which is the most important. we drew 1-1

then on my way back home , saw a familiar face on the way. hahaz, i met tiger. waved to him n he waved back lo. juz noticed something bout the face which i have been seeing for the past 4 years, it has aged. he seems like an old war horse but still with tt who-the-heck-are-you look on his face ~ when i first saw him i was like , oh did i pull up my anke sock ? did i tuck in ? i forgot tt i'm already wearing my aj pe t-shirt. i'm no longer under tt scary old damn tiger~ which brought me to oon's nick, " tt day marks the end of our ties with bp ". so true so true... now we won't have any reason to go back officially. every one now are also going to diff schs... mayb the first few mths we will still get together but after tt ... hmmm, i have a feeling it might change when they start getting down to work. sad la... bp is a nice place with nice ppl. still it was nice to see a familiar face at the end of a tiring day for me.

oh,i read a book the other time, mayb i'll post it here next time. i'm wondering wats wrong with my tag board ? gone missing le ... ? ok i'll stop writing here le, gd niteZ!

2005-03-02T15:30:00.000+08:00

dear diary,

results was out ystday, tot i'll juz touch on it. yeap, went there at 10.40 am lo, " sight seeing " ma...hahaz, managed to see her lo. we walk ard sch... then until 1 ++ like tt go hall le. everyone was pretty nervous i should say. i was hoping against all hope tt i'll go on stage but i din! was quite glad when i saw some of them went on. we knew this time round, we din do as well as the yr be4 lo, the atmosphere was so much diff. who cares anyway~ =Pp i managed a 12 pts, not bad i feel, compared to the effort i've put in. this time my chemistry din disappoint me ! spent the most time on it ... thx ms eu also lo~ though she not in bp now le(bp great loss) my damn e maths got an A2 when i did the whole 10 yr series -_-" other than tt only got 1 surprise lo, literature A2. thx osgodby also lo~ i could done better though...

quite a nice day for me ystday la, but for some not tt gd lo. ah yo, some cried like they lost something like tt. but i think they really put in alot of effort ba. but exams i think need luck de lo, anna also only got 9 when she's always done so well. no need be too sad... hope they get over it soon. now must make such an important decision in my life... lazy to study gRr* yeah, gd thing bout anna getting 9 is tt she's mayb coming over to aj ... pengo also coming over. so more ppl joining me here le... this will make aj more fun.

dun wan blog le. before i forget, she did wish me gd luck! (^_^*) gd nitez!

2005-02-28T06:25:00.000+08:00

dear diary,

ystday went to chee house play soccer again lo, same routine la... then go yun house. quite fun la, some of them really super cold nowadays~ e.g alan. dunno whats wrong with me, get annoyed so easily, got a really damn short fuse man. think i always flare up quite easily only to regret my actions after wards. got try to cool down le, still its not showing much improvements. gRr*

hmmm, later we going out for steamboat. quite excited la, coz alot of ppl should be coming. the last time we went, we had like 13 ppl ? today i think will be close to twenty ? steamboat eating is fun with alot of ppl ard. but still got 2 hours to go... abit bored now. watched the kung fu hustle dvd juz now, so lame de lehz. stopped watching after 30 mins -_-"

today muz play my heart's out le, tml results going to be out liaoz ~!! hahaz.... dunno its gonna be =) or =( juz hope i dun do badly ya. alot of days nv talk to her le, a few times i msged her online but she doesn't seems to bother to reply. sometimes small actions shows alot... i'm still wishing she would wish me gd luck for tml, somehow it means alot to me. not going to write tt much le. wish everybody gd luck ! *(^~^)* will u ??

2005-02-25T14:38:00.000+08:00

want to blog but dunno wat to blog -_-" not really in the best state physically n mentally nowadays. my temper is still not kept in check, grR* must work on tt more. results will be out on monday... it doesn't sound scary at first but now its starting to feel SCARY~ hope to have a nice weekend before the results on mon. nice to be going back bp again ... sec 4's will be there ? i hope. hai... think tts all i'm writing for this entry la. gd nitez!

2005-02-19T14:20:00.000+08:00

oh yay~ so glad today is friday then can enjoy the weekend. tml aj is going to have a small fun fair, dunno whether will fun anotz. my class is selling sandwiches, cookies n potato salad, hahaz, juz have a feeling its not gonna sell coz the girls in my class are lousy cookerS! (biased opinion la) today lesson pretty slack la, managed to persuade ms lee not to have maths lesson. other than tt , din do much. was listening to jingjie's n justin's mp3 thru out ... they have some really nice songs. after sch do abit of logistics for the funfair tml then went for training at ite lo. hahaz, ite is really nice man, the building n everything is far superior than most jc. they have an air-con gym , water-heater-installed changing rooms, lockers for every class rooms, own street soccer court...etc. should consider going yeah ? =)

had lotsa fun at the training... they had 20 balls for the 8 of us training down there while aj normally only has like 12 balls for 25 ppl ~ contrast* they have the small hurdles to do hopping , standing poles which are taller than me to do dribbling in n out , own dummy walls for free kicks~ totally felt like a pro today. me yenhao n kim did some shooting excercises, while boon n nizar did the freekicks. after tt we did corners n played a short 2 sides lo. we trained with kumar's ite team 3 girls. they quite pro lo, bigger built than me -_-" n can kick the ball juz as well... equality ?? then back home, the aj girls lost 7-0 to greenview girls n the boys lost 6-0 to their guys as well. they are national champ la, tts why v gd n we put reserves in ma. but felt like playing against them now... but nvm next week gonna have a small north zone tournament~ we'll be back* !

2005-02-17T14:16:00.000+08:00

yoz... got nth much to blog bout ehz, but juz feel like blogging la. ystday nth much happen , go sch , go yun's place, come home, eat , slp... tts all. today slightly better,at least i had cca, its better than going home n having nth to do. ok , we had friendly against hcjc. we beat them 7-3 the other time, so we were expecting an easier match. we din really switch on once the match start n they got n converted a penalty in the first min -_-" morale was pretty down , me n boon both had a bad half. we weren't the defensive sort lo, n kumar placed us together so obviously we are not going to win alot of balls. half time both of us were reprimanded. 2nd half slightly better la, i think my performance got improve abit. we went down twice but luckily managed to come back 3-2. still we got punished though, 1 hr of fitness tt is. almost collapsed, really tired. kumar really pissed off la... this friday , the rest have friendly against a strong sch, greenview sec, hope they do well. for me i'm off to bishan ite for training ... wonder wats installed for me...

tml gotta go sch again~ n its AGAIN. luckily its a short day lo, mayb juz gonna skip my chem so i can go off at 12.15... hmmm n its so sian, results like going to cmoe out next week le.. Grr* hope nth big goes wrong... ah nth to write liaoz la. go slp le... been a panda for v long liaoz~ *0_0*

2005-02-15T19:00:00.000+08:00

for 3 hrs plus i waited , it all came to nth... when the reality sets in , my world came crushing in. i'm alone in fighting awy the loneliness... oh yeah, wat a v day~

2005-02-14T14:25:00.000+08:00

hiyaz,

posted some pics of my niece n nephew, cute horz ?? darlingz of my family =) the ones in the "Do re mi" are chen jing, su xian n chen xuan. those 2 by the sides are siblings, the centre is su xian who is their cousin. then the bunny hop n see no evil de is wei da, my cousin la. see, complicated right, ard same age one is cousin the others are my niece n nephew. still they are all so adorable~hehex

let me update bout ystday. morning have friendly against nj. think we played quite well, not much major mistakes but still shaky here n there. i scored the opening goal in the 3-0 win , however, i still think i can play better. hahaz, played against oon, he not bad la, made a few dangerous run down the left, if only he can come aj lo. it was weird having him to mark me in the game =)

after the match took a cab with oon to mdm quek house, yin hou, yuhao they all already there. was taken aback by her house. its abit like a senior citizen retirement chalet, v nice n cosy. she gave us another ang bao again, mauhahz. before we came yinhou lost alot of money, mostly to yuhao so when we head to mr tan house, yuhao sponsored the cab lo~

mr tan house also quite nice, exquisite condo. ahhaz...his son yang yang the cutest, v cute n funny. but his wife doesn't seemed too happy with us making fun of her son~ *0ops* alot of batches of ex student was also there. met with mavis n her friends there too, played cards together with them n yinhou lost money AGAIN. gave him back $10 for him to take cab down to town.

next up we went to mr loh house, coz gay n sk they all there. mr loh house is nice too, modern bachelor kind of home. this is sec time i've been there le , last yr new year went there too~ but only thing bad bout his house was the fat cat.. luckily its abit zi bi so kept hiding in his room. apparently me n yuhao had lady luck shining on us, won quite some money there =) ahahz, god favours the honest ppl ma~ for dinner mr loh ordered 12 pizzas for us, (so nice of him) coz got quite alot of sec 4s, i mean ex sec 4s n the sec 4 batch now, the pizza was juz enough to feed all...we play ard, ps , watch tv , cards then ard 10 + we left le lo.

as for today, din do much. went to send my hp for servicing, hope it comes back soon. after which i went to yun's place meet bachelor gang . played ps2 n cards. hahaz... not in the best of luck today i should say. in the evening met yilin take some things from her then home sweet home.

now, i'm juz watching soccer match n dazing. thoughts running thru...oh ya before i forget, wonder who is tt annonymous tagger. leave ur name pls..~ n i dun understand ur tag ? anyway tml is valentines' day le. HaPpY vAlEnTinEs' DaY~ * ! (",)

2005-02-14T13:45:00.005+08:00

bunny hop hop~

2005-02-14T13:45:00.004+08:00

see no evil~

2005-02-14T13:45:00.003+08:00

dun come near me!

2005-02-14T13:45:00.002+08:00

pretty pls ?

2005-02-14T13:45:00.001+08:00

biG smiLeyZ~